Movie 77: My Bloody Valentine

There’s a mining accident and presumably to survive one man kills the others trapped with him. When he awakens 1 year later he goes on a killing spree, murdering many hospital staff and a bunch of teenagers having a party in the mine. Ten years later one of the few survivors, the mine owners son Tom (Jensen Eckles) returns to sell the mine. And the killer returns from the dead and starts striking again.

I watched this in 2D which probably hurts the film a lot. The 3D shots are pretty glaringly in 3D. Stuff is lingered on or is strangely in focus, where it would have been thrown at you from the screen. It’s a slasher flick in 3D, lots of throwing and not a lot of depth. Anywhere really.

As slasher fair its not too bad. It harkens back to the old “guy in a mask” movies with plenty of relatively creative hacking and some tits. In fact to quote the Booger from Revenge of the Nerds “BUSH, WE’VE GOT BUSH!” All the nudity is collected in one extended sequence with a woman in a motel room then a parking lot nekked for about 5 minutes, so get your fill lads.

The gore is pretty decent, very well done actually without being too detailed like in modern torture porn movies.

You may have guessed that I’m not trying to review this as if it was a proper movie btw.

There’s people who’ve been cut in half, a few pick axes through the head, that kind of malarkey. I think the fact that it was in 3D may have given them some big challenges with the CGI as one shot where a girls head is cut in half with a spade early on looks damned cheesy.

If you like the old Friday the 13th movies, you’ll no doubt like this. If not, then probably not. I enjoyed it for what it was. They make an effort to keep you guessing as to who the killer is, and I frankly think they cheated a bit with that, but its not a movie that rests on plot. There’s a lot of clunky scenes. The acting is fine and I’m a big fan of Jensen Eckles so I might be being a little too forgiving.

Actually to be fair I’m a big fan of Supernatural. It’s a bit Dean light here, he’s dressed very similarly. The biggest thing the film left me wanting was a Supernatural movie of some kind. I think the show might have been picked up for a 6th season but the 5 year arc is done now so it’s about time Hollywood, get on it!

Next up: Mad Dog And Glory