Friday 28 May 2010

Movie 148: Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Paul Blart (Kevin James) dreams of being a cop, but has failed the entry test numerous times due to his hypoglycaemia. He works as a Mall Cop, 10 years on the job, and takes it a bit too seriously. He’s also a single dad who takes a shine to the girl who runs the weave stand. When criminals take over the mall and hold her hostage Blart steps in to action to try and save the day.

Die Hard with a fat guy in a mall. Money please!

That’s kind of the movie in a nutshell. I was dreading this a bit going in. I like Kevin James, or enjoyed the odd episode of The King of Queens anyway, so it wasn’t really because of him. Its because the film looked a bit pish.

And the first 30 minutes don’t really do anything to change that. Blart is a bit of a Cliff from Cheers character, but fat so you can make loser and fat jokes. He’s pretty incompetent but with a heart of gold. Blah blah, no laughs.

Things turn around half way through though when he’s up against the robbers. Its all a bit Home Alone rather than Die Hard but it got some chuckles out of me.

Paul Blart isn’t going to win any non-MTV awards but it is relatively entertaining. They don’t strain any of the potential gags too much and don’t go for obvious hits too much. At times its actually a bit clever. It’s far from the best comedy I’ve ever seen, but I was surprised that it wasn’t the worst either.

If you come in from the pub and its just starting then give it a look.

Next up: Rear Window

Thursday 27 May 2010

Movie 147: Terminator – Salvation

Judgement Day has happened and the remnants of humanity are at war with the machines. The leadership find a signal that switches the machines off, and John Connor (Christian Bale) sets out to test it. But the machines have something new up their metal arms…

As a slightly cheesy sci fi romp about humans and robots, this does fine. As a Terminator movie it fails pretty badly.

This is the film we’ve been waiting for for 25 years, ever since the Stan Winston effects had Terminators busting in to scrappy bunkers and rolling over piles of human skulls. Looking at the admittedly messed up time line this is actually set 11 years before that, but its still a bit disappointing.

How are the humans able to have such blatantly open bases without being molested? Where were the big tank machines? (I think you do see one, but you see more motor bikes) Why if its 11 years earlier are the T-800 already in the works? And why the fuck doesn’t this film focus on John Connor?!

In fact his role is actually expanded from what it was, but the film still largely focuses on Sam Worthington’s Marcus character. For no damned logical reason. And its why I say this works okay as a sci fi film but not as a Terminator one. While Connor is in this, he’s not even close to being the focus. He’s the B or possibly even C story in a franchise BUILT on that surname.

I’ve seen everything Terminator bar the tie in anime. The first two films are brilliant, the third is largely a pile of arse, and the TV show was damned good except for the story lines that focused primarily on Sarah Connor ironically enough. In fact it had my favourite scene of, I think, 2007. This one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jc6M4WBL6hA&feature=related It’s fucking GORGEOUS, and that’s a bad ass Johnny Cash tune.

But I digress. Badly as that TV show follows a separate time line and doesn’t match what passes for movie continuity.

I wish they hadn’t skipped the first 9 or 10 years of the war against the machines. I wish we’d seen scrappy bands on humans fighting against terrible odds to try and destroy Skynet. What we got was a combination between Transformers and the Matrix sequels. There’s still potential but I can’t see there being any films for a while due to the rights being all over the place/no where. Probably best to just watch the first movie on a loop and revel in its awesomeness. Not that this doesn’t have the odd moment

It just didn’t fill the gaps in between with the right other moments….

Next up: Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Wednesday 26 May 2010

Movie 146: The African Queen

World War I breaks out and the Germans round up natives in African, burning their villages to prevent them going home. A brother and sister missionary team are caught in the middle and the brother dies of a head injury. When river boat captain Charlie (Bogart) returns to check on them he finds Rose (Katharine Hepburn) alone and takes her off on his boat, The African Queen. She convinces him that they have to do their patriotic duty and head down river to take out a German steamer that is blocking the way for the British Navy, a journey fraught with peril.

Warning, mild peril. Some of it is major peril I suppose. Unfortunately the age of the film means clunky special effects for the rapids sequences, with back projection, a couple of grips shaking the boat set and chucking buckets of water at the actors.

Its not a bad film, but its far from my favourite with Bogie in it. The problem is mainly that there isn’t any tension between the leads for much of the movie. Bogie is at his best as a smart mouth smooth character, for me anyway, but he cleans up too early on and from that point the chemistry didn’t really strike me. Ironically this is where he got an Oscar, so what do I know?

And nothing against Hepburn but she’s pretty one note through this thing, well one note at a time anyway.

Because of this the film fell a bit flat for me. It hinges on whether you like the chemistry between the leads, and I wasn’t all that sold on it.

I am cheating a little bit with this as I’ve “seen” the film before. With my ears. In 1952, the film is from 51, the Lux Radio Theatre did a version of this and I have heard that version. The special effects problems obviously don’t factor in here, and the story is more or less the same. You can hear that in this episode of the fantastic OTR Swagcast by my buddy Bill Hollweg:

http://brokensea.com/otr/2010/02/04/otr-swagcast-episode-49-2/

And if you go to the main show page there’s more Bogart audio coming out with episode of Bold Venture, which team him up with Lauren Bacall. And you can get more Bold Venture at Misfits audio as well:

http://misfitsaudio.com/serialclassicradio.php

Next up: Terminator – Salvation

Tuesday 25 May 2010

Movie 145: Snow Day

A Nickelodeon original! Which could be just as bad a Syfy….

This is actual a couple of stories that intertwine, centring on different members of the same family. A teenage boy trying to get the girl of his dreams. His younger sister who desperately wants a second snow day, and has to defeat the evil “Snow Plow Man” with her friends to do it. A mom who works far too much. And finally Dad Chevy Chase, a local weatherman who is an actual meteorologist but is in third place, first being taken by a shiny haired shiny toothed idiot, and was first to see the snow coming after some unseasonably warm weather.

OH and a minor plot with the school principle being pelted with snow balls a lot.

Yes, this is very much a tween movie. For me the most enjoyable part, not that it sucked or anything, was the Chevy Chase storyline. This is from 2000 so its in that period between Chevy being a leading man and his sort of return now in Community and other stuff. Young, but relatively washed up. He’s still good though. My guess is it’s the agent that failed not Chevy as he never seemed to lose it, for me anyway. This is a Steve Martin type movie though, on a lower budget and with a kid that farts the same fart for no reason bar the fact he’s fat.

The teen love story is pretty outlandish but no more so than the usual fair on the channel that made the film. Trying to get the amazing dream girl, make an enemy of the douche that she sees most of the time, best friend is a girl who sticks by you regardless. If your over 14 you know what’s going to happen.

The younger sisters story would be creepy outside of goofy movie territory. Plow Man terrorises kids, kidnaps one at one point and is generally creepy. The kids end up acting somewhat like Mac Culkin in Home Alone, but in a mob. Either side would probably be arrested in the real world.

And the mum story is probably something that any working mother could sympathise with, and is a bit of a life lesson thing.

As you can probably tell this tries to be all things for all people to make a family movie that the kids, the teens and the parents can enjoy together. It doesn’t entirely fail, but its not smart enough to quite pull it off either. Not terrible, not amazing. Worth watching on a snow day actually.

Next up: The African Queen

Monday 24 May 2010

Movie 144: Loch Ness Terror aka Beyond Loch Ness

A young boy watched his father and some other being eaten by Nessie. Years later people start getting munched at Lake Superior. The boy, now a grown Cryptozooligist, goes to the Lake to take out the monster.

Another syfy original! This ones not terrible though, unless the couple of minutes I missed at the start were really bad. It’s also far from great.

There’s a possibility that the watchability of these drek films is down to the number of recognisable sci fi actors that are in it. This one has a whopping 4! At the start you have Doctor Carson Beckett from Stargate Atlantis as the father who is munched. A guy who runs the bait shop at Lake Superior is that cool scientist dude that’s in Eureka sometimes. His uncle is the Doc from Battlestar Galactica. And finally, one of the two cops is General Hammond himself Don S Davis. Thankfully it wasn’t his last film though because that would be a bit depressing.

A quick look on IMDB there tells me that the main guy, Brian Krause, was in Charmed. I stopped watching after the first couple of seasons so maybe he joined after that. Or I just don’t remember him. So 5!

I have a bit of an issue with the basic premise. I live maybe 40 miles from Loch Ness. Nessie doesn’t eat people. I’ve never heard of Nessie eating someone. Nessie is nice. For a plesiosaur. I’ve also never heard of her going on holiday in Canada. It would be a pretty massive swim for one thing. They are a bit smart with the fact that they used the underwater tunnel to the sea theory though.

The acting isn’t amazing, but its not terrible either. This film really falls down on the special effects front though. There’s a combination of practicle “sock puppet” little Nessie (she has babies) heads and CGI monsters. The big problem is that the two are different colours, the CGI being grey and the puppets being quite red. So the cuts between the two are far from convincing. Also something went wrong with the creature design as she doesn’t look right. The back legs are all weird.

Also, Plesiosaurs have big flippers. The monster here has feet. That’s not a plesiosaur then.

It’s somewhat standard slasher fair to start with, then standard monster movie after that. Nothing amazing, some truly weird weapon effects and generally sciency stuff that’s sometimes right sometimes really strange.

From what I’ve seen so far, if someone held a gun to your head and said you HAD to watch a SyFy Original you could do worse than this. But I wouldn’t hunt it out either unless your some kind of B Movie completist. On the plus side I’ve heard that Evil Beneath Loch Ness is MUCH worse. I’ll be watching that sometime soon btw.

OH and using Lake Superior as Loch Ness and then just using it again for the rest of the movie? Lazy and fuck. It’s not the worst double, but it’s too bloody small.

Next up: Snow Day

Sunday 23 May 2010

Movie 143: Rambo II

Aka First Blood Part 2. Technically that’s the other way around

After the events of the first film, John Rambo (Sly Stallone) is in prison. His old commander offers him a way out by performing a simple recon mission in Vietnam to see if there are still POWs in an old camp. When Rambo gets there he finds some, but is double crossed as he wasn’t meant too. Which makes him angry, and you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

The first Rambo movie isn’t really an action movie. Yes it has action, but Rambo never actually kills anyway. That last line in the synopsis is pretty accurate for that film. He has PTSD and when they poke the bear he loses his shit, but only to the point of wanting to be left alone. THIS is a big dumb 80’s action movie.

Actually dumb isn’t fair, its relatively smart at times with Rambo using actual tactics to kill people and not just standing there with a mini gun mowing guys down and yelling one liners.

Though he does stand there with a mini gun a few times, he just doesn’t do the one liners.

As a big dumb 80’s action movie, this is by far one of the better ones. It has a couple of weaknesses though. All the “we want to be appreciated” stuff that Rambo spews is very heavy handed and I would think offensive to actual vets seeing as Stallone never went near nam during the war and isn’t a vet himself. That and the fact that his sort of love interest and local contact speaks in broken English but with a very good accent. They should have just given her normal bloody dialogue instead of doing that.

The dialogue issues aside, I enjoyed the hell out of this. Rambo blowing up a shit load of Viet Con and Ruskies? Brilliant. It was a simpler time when we knew who our enemies were. And the double crossing from his own side was pretty ballsy back then.

Btw if you know anything about 80’s films and don’t see the double cross coming your not paying attention. The helicopter pilot is the Sensei from Cobra Kai for fuck sake!

If you like big dumb action movies you’ll love this. Of course you’ll have already seen it and know that by now, it’s pretty old

Next up: Loch Ness Terror

Movie 142: Yojimbo

Aka The Bodyguard

Yes this was remade, but thankfully it’s not that Witney Huston thing. I’ll get to that in a minute.

A ronin (Toshiro Mifune) randomly wanders in to a town that is being dominated by two gambling houses. He decides to pit the two gang lords against each other in hopes they will wipe each other out and free the town.

And it was remade as “A Fist Full of Dollars”. I didn’t give Mifune’s character a name in the description as he doesn’t really have one. Of all the Kurosawa movies I’ve seen so far this is the most Eastern, that being the name given to his films that are like Westerns, and its also probably the most dull. It’s still good though, just a little draggy.

There are a lot of mind games in this, which leads to not much happening a lot of the time. The film has two saving graces. Mifune, as always, and the fact that there is a fair bit of comedy in it. Genuinely funny comedy.

Mifune here is very much a Japanese Clint Eastwood, fitting considering the remake and there’s a fair chance that that’s why Eastwood was cast in the first place. He’s very much the tough guy as usual, but more vulnerable at times than he normally is too.

There’s also a guy in this who’s like the Japanese answer to Jaws, the Bond villain not the shark. Eerily so.

The main comedy probably comes from Inokichi, a fat guy with a mono brow who’s comical to look at in the first place. Which I feel a little bad for saying as its not that guys fault that he looks goofy, but there’s a history of that kind of thing in movies.

The main rival, Unosuke (Tatsuya Nakadai) is one of the films weaknesses in my opinion. He struts about like a big man, but he’s only big because he has a pistol. It’s the only gun in the film. I think its mainly down to me being prejudiced about the fact that guns are brought to sword fights sometimes that makes me feel this way though. The character fits for what he is, but he’s also treated with a bit too much respect in the movie over all.

It’s good, a little slow sometimes but not overly long so its not too bad. Worth a look, but I’d recommend the other Kurosawa movies I’ve seen this year first. Maybe not “I Live In Fear”.

Next up: Rambo II

Friday 21 May 2010

Movie 141: The Untouchables

Chicago 1930, and prohibition is in full effect. The town is more or less run by mobster Al Capone (Robert De Niro) and the Department of the Treasury send Elliot Ness (Kevin Costner) in to bring him down. Efforts so far have been fruitless, but after a chance meeting with beat cop Jim Malone (Sean Connery) Ness learns to do things “the Chicago way” and forms a small team that can’t be bought

Highly fictionalised, but entertaining and close enough to the truth. A film about trying to get a guy for tax evasion shouldn’t be all that interesting. But hey, there’s gun fights so its fine.

This is an oldie so no doubt many of you have seen it. And its been highly parodied. It does have a pretty star studded cast, or did for the time as Costner’s star has fallen pretty damned far in the intervening years. Back then he was relatively big though, possibly only on the rise, and he wasn’t first choice from what IMDB says.

And that’s understandable. If there’s a weak link in the main cast then I guess its Costner. He does a good job as the straight laced Ness but he can be a little on the dull understated side at times and a few of the other names that were bandied about might have improved the film a little but it doesn’t need much improving.

De Niro doesn’t parody Capone here which is good. He’s a bit too skinny, not enough time to fatten up, but thankfully he sticks with his own voice. It might just be in my head but I have a feeling that Capone has a bit of a distinctive voice. It works better without De Niro trying to do it as it would have come across more as parody than straight acting which wouldn’t have fit. We all know how good Bobby is at playing gangsters, and his range. Good job here.

Its also a nice performance by Andy Garcia as the rookie cop member of the team, an Italian from the south side with an attitude. I’m not a huge Garcia fan in general but he’s great here. As is Charles Martin Smith as the accountant who comes up with the tax evasion angle.

But of course the stand out is King Sean of Scotland. I think he might actually be doing a bit of an Irish accent when he’s first on screen, but that doesn’t last all that long. Connery is the only actor who can get away with being Irish, Russian or an immortal Egyptian by way of Spain and talk with his normal voice. He’s a bit of a Yoda like cop here who’s not afraid of getting his hand dirty. And a bit of an indestructible tough old bastard. I couldn’t picture anyone else playing this character as well as he does.

So it’s a good one and if you haven’t seen it you probably should

Next up: Yojimbo

Thursday 20 May 2010

Movie 140: Cleaner

Ex cop turned crime scene cleaner Tom Cutler (Samuel L Jackson) thinks he’s just going to another homicide clean up. But it turns out that he’s unwittingly scrubbed a scene before any crime has been discovered. With the help of his old partner Eddie (Ed Harris) he tries to get to the bottom of who set him up.

Crime thrillers are ridiculously common. There’s a million shows on TV right now, and each one of them runs for years. So it takes a lot to make one stand out without the advantage of characters that you’ve gotten to know week after week.

This one isn’t exactly anything remarkable, but it does bring something new to the table.

First off there’s the fact that Sam Jackson’s character does a job we don’t normally see anywhere. After the CSI boys have done there thing someone has to get rid of the mess, and personally I wouldn’t like to do it. So we have a fleshing out of an aspect of life that no one really things about. Its not glamorous, but it’s a nice change.

The ending of the film, which I won’t spoil, is rather predictable if you pay attention but it also has a bit of a spin on things. I’m sure its been done before, but once again it’s a bit refreshing.

And finally there’s a couple of great performances by Jackson doing his thing, and Ed Harris doing his. The two of them are on form here so its good to watch.

The acting side is let down a little by Luis Guzman who has a bit of that stroke voice problem that I had with Mos Def in Be Kind Rewind. He’s just a little hard to make out sometimes, and isn’t really anything remarkable. Eva Mendes isn’t quite a let down in this, she has her moments, but I’ve yet to think she’s much more that a pouty face in anything I’ve seen her in. This does show some promise for her though.

It’s a good thriller and if you like them you’ll like this. If it was a cop show this wouldn’t quite be a sweeps episode, well it might be but that’s more due to the characters and their interaction, but it would be one of the good ones. If you see it coming up on the telly it’s a decent enough watch.

Next up: The Untouchables

Wednesday 19 May 2010

Movie 139: Lesbian Vampire Killers

Are they Lesbian’s who kill Vampires, or is it Lesbian Vampires being killed? The latter.

After being chucked by his girlfriend for the umpteenth time, Jimmy (Matthew Horne) and his best mate Fletch (James Corden) set off to a random country village for a bit of hiking. Unfortunately for them fate is playing its hand, as Jimmy is fulfilling an ancient prophesy that he can end the curse effecting the village. Every girl turns in to a lesbian vampire on her 18th birthday.

There’s a big problem when a fantastic film is very successful. A bunch of similar style movies come out and most of them are shit. Shaun of the Dead was the fantastic film, this one is shit.

The problem is mainly that it appears to have been written by a 14 year old. The humour is on the level of a bad Viz comic and rarely hits anywhere near funny. The acting is sub par for the most part and its MASSIVELY over stylised. Random flick shots are the order of the day, with some cartoon sound effects at times. It’s not funny, and its not clever.

And even going to the base level of the movie it disappoints as there’s not all that much hot lesbian action. There is some boobs, and girls kissing each other. That’s it. If you making a film like this you have to go all out and full seventies shlock horror or you’ll get no where. They didn’t go far enough, probably as it was too high profile.

If you’re a hormonal teenage boy, or lesbian girl I suppose, you might find something here. If you still like Viz even though its not funny anymore, you might find something here. Otherwise just watch Shaun of the Dead.

OR the superior Zombie Strippers. Another retarded premise, but its in part sexier and way better written and acted. That was a pleasant surprise, this is neither.

Next up: Cleaner

Tuesday 18 May 2010

Movie 138: Horton Hears a Who

Horton the elephant (Jim Carrey) is a free spirit, which gets under the noise of the Kangaroo that rules the forest. Just go with it. One day while Horton is taking a bath he hears a voice come from a small speck floating by. He discovers when he finally talks to the mayor (Steve Carell) that the Who’s live on that speck, and sets out to find them a safe place to live while the kangaroo tries to destroy the speck. Because if you can’t see, hear or touch something it doesn’t exist.

So this film is about belief, imagination and to let kids know that they’re important even though they are little. All good stuff. And by belief I don’t particularly mean religion, and I’m not sure if Seuss did or didn’t.

I’m not sure if I read any Dr Seuss as a kid but I’ve seen a couple of the films now and I like them. Not a huge fan of the ridiculous words but this is light on that, and the rhyming. I don’t think anyone could take an hour and a half or rhyming.

The animation is beautiful and done in the style of the Seuss books for the most part. For big fans there lots of things in the background that you can spot and get excited about. And for the rest of us it just looks great.

There’s also a lot of goofy humour in here as well as flat out stupid jokes. Jim Carrey obviously hams it up at times, even in an animation, but its good Carrey hamming opposed to the over egged stuff he can do some times. Steve Carell may have ad libbed now and again too, but he’s great as the mayor. And all the other voice actors are good too.

By the way, if your wondering how you can ad lib in an animation they record the voices first….

This made plenty of money so hopefully there will be more Seuss animations on the way someday. They’ve already made plenty of models after all. This one is fun for all the family, will have the kids rolling about with laughter and keep the grown ups entertained. Go check it out.

Next up: Lesbian Vampire Killers. So not one for the kids then.

Monday 17 May 2010

Movie 137: Be Kind Rewind

When he becomes magnetised trying to destroy a power plant, Jerry (Jack Black) accidentally wipes every tape in Mr Fletcher’s (Danny Glover) store. Mr Fletcher is away, so Jerry and Mike (Mos Def) hit upon the idea of remaking the movies themselves to get out of trouble. These “Sweded” movies are a massive hit, so they keep making more

I don’t know exactly what it is, but this film is lacking in something. Its good, its funny (particularly the sweding) and its for the most part well acted. The one weak link in the acting is Mos Def who sounds likes he’s had a stroke or something most of the time, but even that doesn’t really ruin the movie.

Guess its some jena se qua.

So its not brilliant, but its is decent and worth watching. Though the ending is fairly ambiguous.

I’ve already commented on whats up with Mos Def. It seems to be a character choice as he doesn’t always talk in a mumbly style, but maybe he just needs to put in a lot of effort to enunciate.

Jack Black is perfect for this kind of movie. He gets to be flamboyant and daft and hits whenever he is on screen. He’s the defacto star of the sweded movies, and with good reason.

And Danny Glover shines well too as the old guy who owns the store and struggles to keep up with the times.

I’d give this a look, but like I said its missing something. And you could always just have a look on You Tube for the various sweded movies that people made around the time of release as some of them could be good.

Next up: Horton Hears A Who

Sunday 16 May 2010

Movie 136: Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Set between episodes 2 and 3, the Galactic Civil War is raging on. To secure routes in the Outer Rim the Jedi need a treaty with Jabba the Hutt. Jabba’s son has been kidnapped, so Obi Wan, Anakin and his new Padawan Ahsoka set out to rescue the baby Hutt while the Seperatists try to stop them.

If you don’t know your Star Wars that’s a big load of bollocks I just typed there. I do know my Star Wars though. I used to be one of the worlds biggest Star Wars nerds. Not so much anymore, but the knowledge stays with you. And I really like the expanded universe stuff. A lot of it is really well written, better than Lucas churned out anyway.

I’ve actually watched quite a lot of the TV cartoon that this movie sets up and personally I think its really good. It’s well written for the most part and surprisingly grown up. I’d avoided the movie as I’d heard its ass.

It’s not.

Well not if you like the cartoon. There are issues with it. I don’t like that Ahsoka calls R2 “Artooey”. Artoo is a knickname already dammit. And Zero the Hutt is annoying as hell. I don’t like the Hutt version of Truman Capote.

This isn’t quite up there with the best episodes of the show, but its up there with the second best ones. The little Hutt is kind of cute and you don’t have a thousand fart gags like I dreaded going in. The action is very very well done, there’s great lightsaber battles and the dialogue isn’t too clunky.

The safest thing to do if you’re a Star Wars fan who’s not too hot on the idea would be to check out one of the cartoon episodes as this is basically like mainlining 4 or 5 of them. Avoid the ones with Jar Jar in though, there’s not many. If you like that, you’ll like this.

I do recommend it, but probably only for fans of a galaxy far, far away. Who aren’t “Original Trilogy and nothing else” purists.

Next up: Be Kind Rewind

Saturday 15 May 2010

Movie 135: Race To Witch Mountain

An UFO crashes and the government races to get there, but whoever was inside appears to have escaped. Meanwhile mob driver turned legit taxi driver Jack Bruno (Dwayne Johnson) finds himself stuck with a couple of mysterious kids with a wad of bills in the back of his cab. Turns out the kids are the aliens and the Rock is in a world of shit.

Got bored synopsising

Right, so this is a remake of an older Disney movie that I have never seen. Not sure why, never really got around to it. And for years I didn’t know it was about aliens. I mean really, WITCH mountain?! There’s not a million other mountain names they could have used? Marketing must have had a hell of a time trying to sort that one out.

Dodgy mountain names aside this isn’t too bad a family adventure movie. But its not great either. I’m not sure why, there’s nothing wrong with it really. The kids are nice enough and they don’t overdo the fact that they are aliens. The plot motivations make enough sense. And I happen to think The Rock is a decent actor. He has a few flubs here and there with this, but pretty much everyone has a little stumble. It’s hardly Shakespeare.

The government types aren’t completely bumbling, but they aren’t as awesome as they should be. And while this does revolve around an UFO convention in Vegas I’m not offended in the least by the fact that most of the people focused on are weirdos. It’s an UFO convention, not a sci fi con. Most of those people ARE weirdos.

Spell checker is telling me its weirdoes. Don’t think so. Feels weird typing AN UFO as well but its correct!

Anywho, you could do worse with the older kids than watch this on a rainy afternoon. Its not going to win any awards for best family movie ever but its not really a stinker either.

Oh and our Puffy Faced Hero from Infestation is in this as one of the government guys. It wasn’t just that film, the guys a bit shit.

Next up: Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Movie 134: Franklyn

Nicking the IMDB synopsis:

Preest is a masked vigilante detective, searching for his nemesis on the streets of Meanwhile City, a monolithic fantasy metropolis ruthlessly governed by faith and religious fervor. Esser is a broken man, searching for his wayward son amongst the rough streets of London's homeless. Milo is a heartbroken thirty-something desperately trying to find a way back to the purity of first love. Emilia is a beautiful art student; her suicidal art projects are becoming increasingly more complex and deadly.

That’s more or less right. Lets take apart the 4 stories individually. Over all this film is pretty crap, the way it all comes together is part clever part blatant coincidence so its easier to treat these as disparate movies though I’ll try and avoid spoilers.

The Meanwhile City story fails because its trying to be clever with the religious satire, but never quite gets there. Preest seems to be an attempt at doing a hero in the style of The Shadow. But we never quite get why he’s meant to be so awesome. It’s like the second film in a franchise, without the set up. This does make sense in the end, but takes quite a while to get there. It looks very weird and it’s a detailed looking city, but never connects with the real world (well does eventually). As this was largely billed as being a joined story between the two worlds that really sucks. The way its structured its like seeing The Matrix and The Real intertwined with no explanation, incomprehensible bollocks.

Esser’s story is pretty decent, but no where near as harsh as the description makes it sound. Remember that its roughly 20 minutes tops of actual film time. Basically we have an old man popping in to some places trying to find his son with a picture. We know his son is in prison or a nut house and is getting a day release. That’s it. Not all that compelling, not terrible in its own right.

Milo’s story would be the most interesting on its own in a short film. He’s just been left at the alter and is trying to come to terms with that. He spots a girl from his youth, or thinks he does, and looks her up. Then there’s a big twist that’s actually pretty decent. However the story in itself, outside of coincidence, doesn’t connect up with the others in any major way.

And finally Emilia. She’s not bad looking, but that’s irrelevant. You know the 99% of people on Deviant art who write bad poetry about cutting and take “meaningful” pictures? That’s Emilia. She’s a bit of a pain, they give her a bit of an explanatory scene but its too little too late. Her section is all whiney emo bollocks and bad art. Barely watchable, not at all sympathetic.

And that’s all I can say without ruining the film. This isn’t really a fantasy film at all, though it has fantasy elements. It’s also not that well constructed, something seemed off about the sound at times with disembodied seeming voices, and its not as clever as its thinks. I’d give it a miss.

Next up: Race To Witch Mountain

Thursday 13 May 2010

Movie 133: Best Seller

Dennis Meechum (Brian Dennehy) is a cop and thriller writer, writing books based on real life cases. Since his wife died of cancer he has suffered from writers block. Along comes Cleve (James Woods), a man who claims he was a hired killer for a corporation. Meechum doesn’t believe him, so Cleve sets out to prove it while the company tries to kill them both.

This is a rather generic 80’s cop thriller, but its actually rather good. Brian Dennehy is generally a likeable guy, and he comes across very well in this movie. He doesn’t have a huge amount to do as its really a James Woods show.

If you know James Woods from Family Guy, I don’t mean ONLY from Family Guy but the character he plays on there, he’s pretty much on show here. His killer is psychotic, insecure and lonely. It’s a great performance from Woods, pretty creepy and unlikeable at times, semi charming and quite decent at others. He runs a bit of a gamut here and lands every moment he has to.

This actually had a bit of a weird moment for me towards the start too. Remember the TV show Renegade? I really liked Renegade. And Bobby Sixkiller was pretty awesome. He’s in this towards the start. First time I remember seeing him somewhere else.

Anyway, this is far from a dark “Murder She Wrote” and more of a “He’s a cop, he’s a killer” buddy cop movie. Though dark rather than funny. If you’re a fan of James Woods, or you want to see why he’s regarded as a good actor, then this wouldn’t be the worst thing to check out. At this point it is a TV watch though.

Next up: Franklyn

Wednesday 12 May 2010

Movie 132: Bachelor Party

Rick (Tom Hanks) is getting married in two weeks. So his friends decide to throw him a Bachelor Party. Simultaneously his future wife Debbie (Tawny Kitaen) is having her Hen night (fuck knows what yanks call that, Bachelorette I think. Not a word). Concerned that he will cheat on her a prank war starts between the two nights. And while this is going on, the douchebag that her parents want her to be with is try to screw Rick’s chances.

For a start, when did Bachelor Party, or Stag Night, mean hookers? Strippers yes, but hookers? First time I’ve heard that.

I was hoping for big things with this as I think it’s supposed to be one of those 80’s legendary comedies. It’s not. It’s a bit shit. The film starts about 40 minutes before the party, so the build up is far too long. Yes there is some crazy things happening at the party, but as it’s only a small part of the movie in the grand scheme of things they aren’t focused on properly. And the bad guy is one of the more incompetent ones for this genre.

Tom Hanks’ Rick is a bit of an arse at times. He’s supposed to be a likeable goofball, and he can be, but he’s not written correctly and is just plain obnoxious sometimes. He makes zero effort to get on with her family. Hanks is still very good, it’s Hanks ffs, but Rick is poorly written. As are his friends largely. I think he was supposed to be a Ferris Bueller type, but he doesn’t have anywhere near the charm.

There are moments, a fight in a cinema towards the end is great. And the friend who keeps trying to kill himself in very incompetent ways is funny, but outside of that there isn’t much on offer.

Next up: Best Seller

Tuesday 11 May 2010

Movie 131: The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas

Bruno’s father is a Nazi officer, and when he gets a transfer to a new job Bruno has to leave his friends in Berlin behind. From his new window he can see a farm, and asks if he can go and play with the children there. He’s told no. But Bruno loves to explore, and he’s curious about why they all wear pyjamas

Yeah, you know what the farm is. I know what the farm is. Bruno doesn’t to start with.

This is a double threat movie really as its both heart warming and really heart breaking in equal measure. The friendship between a little Jewish boy and a little German boy who both don’t quite get how horrific everything is, though the Jew is obviously a bit more in touch with reality, is very touching.

Through the course of the movie we see both sides of the coin. The German’s who are opposed to what’s happening, and the ones who buy the “Jews are filth” propaganda. And we see it in action as Bruno’s big sister changes dramatically because of a crush on a soldier.

This isn’t exactly an easy watch at times, but its not as hard as I thought it might be. The characters are very well drawn, not really falling in to clichés too much, and the acting across the board is great. It’s also remarkably well balanced, though the only people who think what’s going on is wrong are women. Discounting Bruno as he doesn’t have a clue.

It’s a movie about friendship and the lies that parents tell to protect their children. It should also probably be shown to everyone in school.

Next up: Bachelor Party

Movie 130: Lifeboat

A group of people from various walks of life find themselves stuck on a lifeboat after their ship is torpedoed by a Nazi U-Boat. Things are further complicated when another survivor comes about, but this one is German.

This is Hitchcock. That’s pretty much means it a good movie before you even start watching, and Lifeboat isn’t an exception to that rule.

I’m sure many people would be surprised at how harsh some of the material in old movies really is. Generally its thought of as a simpler time when people were more innocent and you didn’t have the harsh stuff that we have in movies now. Sure there’s no swears to speak of, or tits, but there gritty material here. Hell, in the first 20 minutes there’s a dead baby, an insane mother of said baby, and that mothers suicide.

Hitch don’t make no light movies.

Which makes this sound like it’s a nightmare to watch. Not at all, there’s plenty of humour and while a few of the characters are pretty broad at times they’re generally pretty fleshed out complex people.

I do have a couple of problems with the movie. I found the lead actress, Tallulah Bankhead, quite grating in a Kate Mulgrew way. That’s one hell of a name though! And Kovac, the tough guy played by John Hodiak, was all gritted teeth and barking for a while. Aside from that its also a movie of its time. World War 2 was raging, it’s a contemporary setting for the film, so while some effort is made to show a decent side to the German character he’s still a heartless inhuman outright bastard when it comes down to it.

Now I could see that being a bit different, but its understandable for the time. While it would have been ballsy to go a different way I can’t see audiences going for it.

This is a slow burner. The characters aren’t in all that bad a situation to start with, it’s a pretty well stocked boat, and things get progressively worse. Its well constructed, well paced and for the most part very well shot although a few technical limitations creep in at one bit towards the end.

I don’t have to recommend you watch Hitchcock movies, its Hitch for christ sakes. Oh and if your wondering how he got his trademark shot in the movie, he’s in a newspaper ad that one of the characters reads. Hilarious!

Next up: The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas

Sunday 9 May 2010

Movie 129: Semi-Pro

Jackie Moon (Will Ferrell) is the flamboyant owner/coach/manager of the Flint Michigan Tropics, an ABA basketball team. He dreams big, but is living damned small. When the ABA is going to merge with the NBA the Tropics days will be over, until Jackie manages to work a deal that would see the top 4 teams join the NBA. All the bottom place Tropics have to do is make it there. And with the help of bad boy Monix (Woody Harrelson) they just might do it.

As you can see from the description above, we’re in generic sports movie or sports comedy territory. Some losers have to become winners for amazing thing x to happen. Thankfully this isn’t completely generic though, but it does have a montage. You have to have a montage. Even Rocky had a montage.

Will Ferrell is hit or miss for me, as you could tell from the Step Brothers review. This was a hit though. His movies work well when they’re outlandish, but not too extreme. He also plays well in the 70’s and when his characters can be flamboyant. Anchorman and Blades of Glory have proven that.

This is kind of Blades of Glory without the skates.

While I hardly pissed myself laughing through this, I did laugh many a time and I was entertained. It’s not a full on insane comedy like Baseketball, but it does feature the two outlandish commentators which are an easy way to get some great laughs in these things.

Surrounding Ferrell is a great supporting cast, featuring many of the usual faces for his films. A couple of guys from the Daily Show pop up in little roles, and half of the guys from Anchorman etc are here too in roles of one size or another.

Woody is more or less the straight man here, given a more serious storyline with him trying to get back with an ex and redeem himself for a broken career, the highest achievement of which was riding the bench to a championship ring. He’s a hot head, but he does fire off any insane one liners. We all know that Woody can be funny as hell from his Cheers days, but he’s a solid anchor here that gives weight to the sports story.

This was a top tier Ferrell movie for me. Not his craziest, far from serious, well worth a look. The main story is surprisingly refreshing, though still close to the generic, and the side tales are funny in their own right.

Next up: Lifeboat

Saturday 8 May 2010

Movie 128: Infestation

A loser is just being fired from his job when a loud noise knocks everyone out. He awakens to find himself in some kind of webbing, and pulls another few people out before being attacked by a giant bug. With a rag tag band of survivors they try and find a way to beat the bugs that are swarming everywhere.

We never find out where the bugs came from, but that’s fine. We find out some stuff about them and there’s conveniently a few random scientist types woken up. That’s fine too. The problem is the tone.

I think this was going for an “Eight Legged Freaks” type vibe. Comedy b-movie fun with icky bugs attacking people. It never really gets there. The problem is that our puffy faced hero just isn’t all that funny. So tonally it fails, as it can’t decide whether to be properly whacky or serious.

All in all it feels a lot like a TV pilot that never went anywhere. I thought it might be another SyFy original but there was no warning company tag at the start.

The special effects are relatively decent, with a mix of practical and CGI. The acting is fine enough, though the writing is lacking. And there is one major problem. The very end.

Now I don’t generally like to spoil movie endings, and I’m not really going to here either. It’s a b-movie so you expect a b-movie ending. B-movie endings are those where there is an obvious sequel set up. This kind of has one of those, but not quite. It’s as follows:

The remaining main characters are on the street, one of them points and says “look at that”. Puffy faced hero turns and says “holy shit!”. Film ends.

We don’t SEE what the holy shit is. It just ENDS. I thought something had gone wrong with my recording. It hadn’t. That’s not a teaser ending, that’s a cheat ending. It was a final nail in the coffin for the movie really.

I wouldn’t bother with Infestation. There are better, funnier bug movies out there for you to watch. There are scarier bug movies if you’d rather see that. We don’t really need more bug movies. And this doesn’t bring anything new to the table. It’s not all bad, but its far from great…

Next up: Semi-Pro

Movie 127: The Rocker

80’s hair metal band Vesuvius are about to hit the big time, but the record label has one condition. They have to replace Fish (Rainn Wilson) with an executives son. And they do. 20 years later Fish is stuck in a 9 to 5 job and still holds a grudge. When his nephew Matt’s (Josh Gad) band is short a drummer for a prom gig he manages to convince his reluctant uncle to pick the sticks up again. Fish showboats and pisses off the band, but they give him another chance. A video chat rehearsal with a naked Fish ends up being a You Tube sensation and the band are on their way to the big time.

There’s plenty to entertain here but unfortunately it falls a little short, and its not really the casts fault. The problem is that while Rainn is a little bit Dwight from the Office he comes across as Jack Black lite here. Its like they WANTED Jack, but couldn’t get him.

I have no problem with someone playing something different to how they’re known. And Rainn is great here but through the whole thing I kept seeing Jack. When someone is synonymous with a type of character and someone else plays the exact same thing the second guy is going to suffer.

Don’t get me wrong, The Rocker is a good, though not great, rock band movie. It has plenty of messages about bands being family, good music and plenty of funny moments. The whole cast performs well. But because of that major issue it falls short.

There’s a fair few TV guys here. Rainn Wilson himself obviously, Josh Gad was in the short lived Back To You and he plays a similar character here that he did there if your familiar with that show. Not many are, hence the short lived.

Jane Lynch pops up in a very small role and it’s the first time I’ve seen her playing a relatively normal character. She feels kind of wasted. As I said, stretching is fine. But Jane is damned good at what she does and it would have been nice to see more of her usual bitchiness. Pretty much anyone could have played her role in this one.

One very notable cameo is Dimitri Martin. I LOVE Dimitri. From his odd appearance in the Daily Show to his own show now, the guy is hilarious. He plays an eccentric video producer here and he’s brilliant in the little bit he’s given.

The Rocker is an entertaining little comedy, but it probably won’t be enough to make anyone’s favourite list. It’s no School of Rock or Josey and the Pussycats, two films it could be compared to in various ways. But there are much worse ways to spend 90 minutes.

Next up: Infestation

Thursday 6 May 2010

Movie 126: Star Runners

Ty (Connor Trinneer) and Lei (James Kyson-Lee) are a couple of smugglers. They’re busted by the UP (space government) and given a chance at a clean slate. Pick up a crate and take it back. Sounds simple enough. But when their ship is stolen they open the crate and find a girl inside. The transport they hitch a ride on is attacked and Ty is forced to make an unplotted jump that lands then on a deserted planet with a secret. And some big fucking bugs.

There’s four words that warn any movie goer that what they are about to see is probably going to be a pile of shite. The first two are “Uwe Boll”. The second two are “Syfy Original”.

Technically this said something like “produced by the sci fi channel” but you get my point.

The now called Syfy Originals are films put out by the channel of that name. Generally they have one or two TV stars in lead roles and god awful scripts. They cost a fiver to make. This is no exception.

Our stars are the two guys I named above. The first, Connor Trinneer, played the engineer in Star Trek: Enterprise and Michael, the bad guy from Atlantis. He’s a decent enough actor and he does perfectly well here. A shining star given the crap he’s surrounded by. The second, James Kyson-Lee, plays Ando on Heroes. That’s Hiro’s best friend, the other Japanese guy. He does okay too but nothing great.

Outside of those two, and minor credit to “the other main guy who’s name I can’t find as I can’t remember the character name” and Toni Trucks who played the girl from the box for being not awful all the time, the acting isn’t too far off porn level. The two main bad guys interactions are HORRENDOUSLY bad, and much of the cannon fodder look surprised to be in a film and may be reading their scripts off the walls.

The other plus point that the film has are the special effects. Well, in space anyway. It looks a lot like the guys who do the Battlestar Galactica effects did this one too. That’s the same people behind Firefly btw. The look of the ships is reminiscent of those shows, and the space stuff has the same hand held vibe. Nothing to complain about there.

The bugs are a bit crap though. Nothing too terrible, but not great. And some of the set design is semi decent, the rest is terrible.

If this was spliced together cut scenes from a game I wouldn’t be too surprised. And they’d be pretty bad cut scenes. The film completely loses any semblance of writing in the last 25 minutes and just randomly has things happen with flimsy explanations. And the twist can be seen from a mile away.

It’s not the worst Syfy original from what I’ve seen so far. I made it through for one thing, and without too much pain. But I wouldn’t bother. Just check out Scanners instead. Or Starship Troopers. Or…..anything.

Next up: The Rocker

Wednesday 5 May 2010

Movie 125: The Iron Giant

An alien robot crash lands on Earth and is found by a young boy. The robot is childlike and can’t really talk, but the boy befriends him and teaches him how to talk and that its wrong to kill. With the help of a local scrap artist he plots to save his friend from a government agent who’s out to find him.

When you see the name Pixar at the start of an animated movie you know your in for something good. A big part of that is down to Brad Bird. Brad Bird made this. So you can work out the result for yourself.

The Iron Giant feels like part Frankenstein, part Short Circuit. Like Frankenstein he’s big and dangerous, but not exactly the monster that he looks like. Like Johnny Five, and this is a bit of a spoiler but also rather obvious, he’s a weapon that learns not to be one.

The animation style is old school Disney hand drawn, with the exception of the giant who was CGI. It all fits together seamlessly and feels like a much older film. The voice acting is all pretty much spot on. With the exception of John Mahoney none of the voices were too stand out, therefore drawing you out of the picture. Sometimes I find having big names providing voices for characters takes you out of the world because the animated character doesn’t look like the actor. Not the case here at all. And you’d be heard pressed to know that was Vin Diesel as the giant.

There’s a lovely 50’s B Movie vibe to the whole thing. It’s nice that alien technology always manages to be low fi when things are set in that era, isn’t it? It would be nice to see something that would be invading now shoved in to a retro setting, but you’d loose out on the nostalgic vibe.

This is a heart warming story with great characterisations and a slow burning plot. It develops perfectly from start to finish and you’ve got a tough heart if you can watch it without being moved.

No idea how this would play with the younger crowd, but I’m guessing this is something that would entertain the whole family regardless of age. Go watch.

Next up: Star Runners

Tuesday 4 May 2010

Movie 124: Once

A talented busker and immigrant woman strike up a friendship through their mutual love of making music, and set out to record an album of the mans songs.

That pretty much covers it really.

Tonally this could really be compared to Lost in Translation. Instead of two people who can’t really be together but you kind of wish would being brought together by being in a strange culture they’re brought together by music. And there’s a very important line that you can’t understand, or in LiT’s case here. Unless you speak Check.

If you don’t and you’ve seen this go and look at the IMDB trivia, it’ll make you smile.

I went to see a play a few years ago called The Sundowe. It was by a bunch of buskers from Edinburgh called The Martians, and it was a supernatural crazy farce based around their music. The Martians are fucking AWESOME and the play was great. Do a hunt for them. Actually fuck that, he’s a link to one of their videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRS-ut97hRw&feature=related

Plenty other videos on the right there. I’m not sure what’s happening with them, but I wished I had the money to make a movie version of the play. And for a review I wrote back then they still owe me a pint!

The film looks exactly like pretty much everything I’ve ever had a chance to be involved with in my life, so don’t expect super HD shiny quality. It’s 10 years ago TV quality. Gritty, fairly hand held, nothing overly flashy. When you have a good story, good acting and a fun script it doesn’t matter.

So here it doesn’t matter.

Much of the film is music, it is a musical after all, but not in the Jets vs Sharks way. It’s all organic and works with the story.

The fact is, not to downplay Glen Hansard and Maketa Irglovia’s talent, there are THOUSANDS of people like these guys out there. Hell I’ve named 2 groups in this review and could probably name more if I tried. Our charts and radios shouldn’t be blasting out cookie cutter shite that sounds exactly the same as last weeks shite. Do yourself a favour and go and see someone local. Or stop and listen to the odd good busker. They’d appreciate the money more anyway.
oh and watch Once, because its fucking brilliant

Next up: The Iron Giant

Monday 3 May 2010

Movie 123: Penelope

Five generations ago a rich family were cursed by a witch for being assholes. The next girl born would have a pig face. Luckily they had a long line of boys, until Penelope (Christina Ricci) comes along. The curse would only be broken when “one of her own kind loved her” so her mother trained her to be a perfect wife. Unfortunately every suitor legged it when they saw her face. A reporter (Peter Dinklage) who lost his eye trying to get a picture of her as a baby hatches a plan to find a down on his luck blue blood to get a picture of grown up Penelope, and hires Max (James McAvoy). But things don’t go to plan.

I’ll leave it there. This is a kind of heart warming, entertaining modern fairy tale with a Pushing Daisies vibe that kind of loses it in the last half hour or so. Its still good throughout but that last reel dibs somewhat.

One of the main issues the film has is that Penelope really isn’t that horrific. I still would. I do have a major Christina Ricci thing though which may have helped. Fact is, with Reese Witherspoon as a best friend at one point (minor spoiler, sorry) she’s the better looking of the pair. Less pointy anyway.

To be fair to Reese I didn’t hate her in this.

There’s quite a few plot holes and inconsistencies too. I can’t go in to one of them as it’s a major spoiler, but one issue is that this was filmed in the UK and has a lot of UK minor cast members, but its set in New York (I believe). This would be fine if everyone could do accents, but Owen out of Torchwood’s is APPAULING. There’s a few people, Lenny Henry for example, that don’t bother with an accent so they’re presence is a bit baffling. I think he was a cop, but if he’s a PI I’m sure it’s fine. The blue bloods all seem to have English accents too, and that’s also fine. But they should have been ore consistent through.

James McAvoy proves once again that he’s a fantastic actor. His accent is spot on, he doesn’t miss a beat and even I fell for him a bit. And the Dink is in another role where its not a plot point that he’s dwarf. I love that. The dude is a great actor, he gets cast in good roles, the end. Obviously it’s a bit more poignant casting here though with the theme of the movie.

And Nick Frost has a very small role with a pretty hilarious slightly comedic American accent. Just glad to see him in something. Its not a BAD accent, just comically broad.

The rest of the cast are fine, the film looks great and that slightly otherwordly weird vibe is kept throughout. It’s not as deeply stylised as Daisies, Lemony Snickett or a Burton movie but just touched enough to have a unique look.

If it wasn’t for that last chunk being a bit off I’d highly recommend this, but all I’m dropping is the highly. This is an entertaining film and you should know from what I’ve said if this is your bag or not. It was mine.

Next up: Once

Sunday 2 May 2010

Movie 122: The Castle

The Kerrigans are a simple Australian family. They live in a house next to the airport, have built themselves a summer home and are very happy. Largely thanks to dad Darryl’s sunny attitude that infects the whole lot of them. But when the airport is going to expand their house is bought against their will. Darryl refuses to accept that, a mans home is his castle, and fights back against the big boys.

It’s a true underdog story. Well, not a TRUE story but you know what I mean. A little guy who’s happy with the little he’s got and refuses to let it go.

The characters are all quirky as hell. The whole story is told from the perspective of the youngest son, Dale, who narrates the whole thing. Darryl is a simple man who runs a towing business and does a lot of DIY on the house to improve it. His son Steve buys things from the local trade paper to sell on again for a profit. His wife does handcraft type stuff.

They’re all a bit dense, but in an incredibly charming way. Every night Darryl complements his wife on her great cooking, when its basically some chicken and seasoning in front of him. They’re pretty much on the bottom rung of the ladder but couldn’t be much happier.

I’m not the biggest fan of Australian cinema as they turn out a lot of turkeys. Even with the over arching plot of this film it boils down to a character piece, and if the characters aren’t up to it then it’s a pain to watch. Thankfully the acting and the script here are more than up to the task. If your pretty poor like myself you’ll probably have known a few people that are quite similar to the Kerrigans. They don’t care that there house is zoned in a terrible place, that a lot of their stuff is pretty much crap and that their biggest achievement is a daughter with a hair dressing diploma. The little things are what matters.

And that’s the movies main message. Yes its about the little guy going after a giant, but the message is that family is what is important. They’re happy because they have each other. 70 grand is probably quite a lot for them, though it wouldn’t buy all that much so not really, but the airport could be offering 700 and they still wouldn’t want to sell their home. And the whole thing comes down to that intangible home factor.

There’s a lot of quotable dialogue here Darryl has a couple of catch phrases that would be very well known if this was a bigger budget movie. I’ve no idea what it cost but its shot cheaply and the shoot was as long as the food budget would stretch (11 days). The family is called Kerrigan so that they could borrow a tow truck from a real company as there was no money for that kind of thing.

I watched it because Eric Bana is in it, but he’s barely in it at all. I’m far from disappointed though. If you need a laugh then hunt this one out and give it a shot as it’s bloody brilliant mate.

Next up: Penelope

Movie 121: Crank: High Voltage

Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) improbably survives the fall from a helicopter, only to have his heart nicked by triads and an artificial one shoved in it place. It runs on a battery that regularly needs charges of power and isn’t designed for long term or strenuous use. So Chelios needs to find ways to keep himself ticking while he gets his heart back and some revenge.

In the first film Chelios having to keep his heart rate up worked very well. It was high octane and he did some crazy things to keep it pumping. This time around doesn’t work quite as well.

It sounds strange but its mainly because of inconsistencies. Sometimes a giant charge will keep him going for about a minute, others something small keeps him going for ages. Its all over the bloody place. It’s a weird complaint for a film like this as its absolutely nuts in every way, but I’d probably have enjoyed it a lot more if they’d kept that consistent.

It’s not quite as much fun as the first one either. It wasn’t that long ago that I watched it but it felt to me that this one was dialled down a bit rather than ratcheted up. There’s still a fair amount of crazy action, and he does a few insane things to keep going, but electrical charges don’t have the same mad potential that normal adrenaline did.

Its pretty much been established now that Chev Chelios is some kind of improbable superhuman who can take a ridiculous amount of punishment and keep rocking. I’m fine with that. I’m not sure what they’ll use as a Macguffin if they make a Crank 3, they’ve possibly made a mistake by switching off the originals to a different one, but if they can come up with a good idea I’ll be there.

Hell, I’ll probably be there anyway. I like Statham films, he’s like an Arnie that speaks English.

This doesn’t suck, but its pretty much for fans of the original. There’s plenty of continuity, things pick up right after the first one finished, but there are flashbacks if you want to skip to number 2. I’d recommend watching the first one over this though.

Next up: The Castle

Movie 120: The Hamster Factor and Other Tales of Twelve Monkeys

The making and post production of Movie 119: Twelve Monkeys

More or less. It’s the second part that’s the most important here really. As I said yesterday this seems like a bit of a cheat, the documentary was on the same DVD, but its not a normal behind the scenes look

It’s kind of a documentary of two halves. The first deals with some actual making of, and inspires the title. Terry Gilliam has a tendency to become obsessed with a tiny detail and fixates on it being right which delays production. It also leads to him having extremely detailed sets and little touches that you don’t always notice, and is a good thing. Aside from that it’s the usual movie making frustrations

There’s one point where the first actor who was going to play the lead as a boy kinda sucked. This piece of minutae was very important to Terry, and thankfully the back up kid didn’t suck. I know how that feels. I’ve only made the one short myself but it’s a bit heartbreaking when there’s something you had in your head that you just can’t get. I had to change the way a moment worked entirely and it still bugs me thinking about it, so I know how he feels. BUT he can also be a bit of a pain in the arse at times. Bloody artists….

The second half is the most revealing. Not so much the editing and marketing stuff that they cover. That’s interesting and all but is covered plenty of places. No, the interesting part is the test screening.

This would be spoiler territory for a movie but fuck it this is a doc. When they’re in there with the audience, Terry and I think it’s the producers get a damned good vibe from the film. The reaction they want. Everything seems great, but the score cards and sample group come back less than positive.

I have a bit of a problem with test screenings. A lot of the time a film is unfinished and its VERY hard to judge a movie when there are temp scores and effects. It takes you away from the rest of it a bit, unless your used to that kind of thing. Random mall people aren’t used to that, so I think the whole system is flawed.

The main issue with test screenings, which thankfully DIDN’T happen in this case, is that movies are changed based on them. Why? All a test screening should do is tell you who to market your film to. A random sample of a few hundred people shouldn’t have any input on the creative process. Neither should studio executives. If your such a good film maker, make a fucking film don’t mess with the people who are doing it.

Fact is, what happened here should always happen. A few minor changes then the film went out. A studio should know that they want to make a film based on the script and the pre-production. They know what’s coming. They shouldn’t then change things after the fact bar some suggestions that the director either agrees with and changes or doesn’t. That’s it. WHY people have to negotiate for final cut I don’t know….

This is worth a look just for the eye opening second half, but if you can’t stand behind the scenes stuff this won’t change your mind. And Lost In La Mancha was better on a similar subject.

Next up: Crank: High Voltage