Wednesday 19 May 2010

Movie 139: Lesbian Vampire Killers

Are they Lesbian’s who kill Vampires, or is it Lesbian Vampires being killed? The latter.

After being chucked by his girlfriend for the umpteenth time, Jimmy (Matthew Horne) and his best mate Fletch (James Corden) set off to a random country village for a bit of hiking. Unfortunately for them fate is playing its hand, as Jimmy is fulfilling an ancient prophesy that he can end the curse effecting the village. Every girl turns in to a lesbian vampire on her 18th birthday.

There’s a big problem when a fantastic film is very successful. A bunch of similar style movies come out and most of them are shit. Shaun of the Dead was the fantastic film, this one is shit.

The problem is mainly that it appears to have been written by a 14 year old. The humour is on the level of a bad Viz comic and rarely hits anywhere near funny. The acting is sub par for the most part and its MASSIVELY over stylised. Random flick shots are the order of the day, with some cartoon sound effects at times. It’s not funny, and its not clever.

And even going to the base level of the movie it disappoints as there’s not all that much hot lesbian action. There is some boobs, and girls kissing each other. That’s it. If you making a film like this you have to go all out and full seventies shlock horror or you’ll get no where. They didn’t go far enough, probably as it was too high profile.

If you’re a hormonal teenage boy, or lesbian girl I suppose, you might find something here. If you still like Viz even though its not funny anymore, you might find something here. Otherwise just watch Shaun of the Dead.

OR the superior Zombie Strippers. Another retarded premise, but its in part sexier and way better written and acted. That was a pleasant surprise, this is neither.

Next up: Cleaner

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