Barton Fink is a New York playwright who’s latest play is the toast of Broadway. He’s tapped to write pictures and heads out to Hollywood. Given the task of writing a wrastlin movie, Barton finds himself blocked and hopes for inspiration from a fellow writer. Completely missing the fact that his neighbour in the hotel he’s staying in would be perfect inspiration
That’s sort of the plot. To be honest its not the clearest movie I’ve ever seen. It’s also very sweaty. The people are sweaty and the hotel walls literally sweat their paper.
I didn’t really think that much of it. I like the Coen brothers generally but Fink just didn’t gel together for me. It has its moments sure, Charlie (the neighbour, played by John Goodman) is by far the standout, but it all felt a bit lacklustre.
That’s not really fitting as there’s plenty of luster. All of the Hollywood types talk in the “Fast Talking High Trousers” style, if you remember that sketch from the fast show. I think that’s mainly to highlight Fink as being a fish out of water. He seems rather staid and lacking in passion, full of the usual crap that literary types spout when they talk about writing about the common man. But he’s very passionate when talking about his subject and opens up a fair bit in the middle, so there’s some inconsistency there.
Honestly I’m not sure what to write about it. Which is ironic as I’m blocked writing about a movie about a guy who’s blocked. It’s very weird, some characters don’t feel all that developed, and it never really seems to go anywhere (although there is a plot, it’s just a sudden plot. Like they suddenly realised they’d better do one). The standout scenes are those with Charlie and those with the detectives. Half the rest could have been dropped, or at least replaced, as far as I’m concerned and it might have made a better movie.
Regardless of what the critics thought. I ain’t no critic.
Next up: Kill Switch
Sunday, 31 January 2010
Saturday, 30 January 2010
Movie 30: The Fantastic Mr. Fox
Mr Fox is a bird thief to trade, but when Mrs Fox tells him that she’s pregnant she insist that if they survive (his cockiness got them stuck in a trap) he has to get out of it and find a real job. Which he does, as a columnist. Sick of living in a hole because it makes him feel poor, he buys a tree house that has a view of the farms of Boggis, Bunce and Bean. True to his nature he can’t resist one last big three part score. But this pisses the farmers off and they go to war, putting the whole animal community in danger.
Nut shelled! I have read the original book but it was a looooooong time ago. I know I liked it, I know it’s the first book I ever read in an hour, but I can’t remember the plot all that well so don’t know how much is changed for the film. From the IMDB trivia I’m guessing a fair bit and they’ve added some characters.
This is a Wes Anderson movie. And you can’t spell Wes Anderson movie without weird. Honestly, check. I had to add movie to get the I though. So there is a fair few surreal moments here. It also feels a lot like an indie movie dialogue wise. In fact most of the characters talking, much like Where The Wild Things Are, is very grown up or at least early teens for the younger characters. So kids probably won’t know what people are talking about a lot of the time.
Unlike WTWTA this is a lot more fun though. There’s plenty of silly action in it, plenty of laughs.
I did have a bit of an issue with the animation and found out after the fact that it’s deliberately clunky to highlight the stop motion. This gave an amateurish feel to the movie but after a while its not AS annoying. They filmed it 12 frames per second instead of the 24 that gives realistic movement to the human eye/brain. Why they didn’t just knock it down to 20 or so to give a hint but keep some fluidity I don’t know. The effect does work quite well sometimes, but not for the whole movie.
It would be hard to make a bad movie based on a work of Roald Dahl, and they haven’t. Fantastic Mr Fox isn’t QUITE fantastic, though it has a great script and a hell of a cast, but it is damned good
Nut shelled! I have read the original book but it was a looooooong time ago. I know I liked it, I know it’s the first book I ever read in an hour, but I can’t remember the plot all that well so don’t know how much is changed for the film. From the IMDB trivia I’m guessing a fair bit and they’ve added some characters.
This is a Wes Anderson movie. And you can’t spell Wes Anderson movie without weird. Honestly, check. I had to add movie to get the I though. So there is a fair few surreal moments here. It also feels a lot like an indie movie dialogue wise. In fact most of the characters talking, much like Where The Wild Things Are, is very grown up or at least early teens for the younger characters. So kids probably won’t know what people are talking about a lot of the time.
Unlike WTWTA this is a lot more fun though. There’s plenty of silly action in it, plenty of laughs.
I did have a bit of an issue with the animation and found out after the fact that it’s deliberately clunky to highlight the stop motion. This gave an amateurish feel to the movie but after a while its not AS annoying. They filmed it 12 frames per second instead of the 24 that gives realistic movement to the human eye/brain. Why they didn’t just knock it down to 20 or so to give a hint but keep some fluidity I don’t know. The effect does work quite well sometimes, but not for the whole movie.
It would be hard to make a bad movie based on a work of Roald Dahl, and they haven’t. Fantastic Mr Fox isn’t QUITE fantastic, though it has a great script and a hell of a cast, but it is damned good
Friday, 29 January 2010
Movie 29: The Blind Side
Based, sometimes loosely, on a true story. Michael is a big guy down on his luck. In and out of foster care because his mom is a crack head, he’s somewhat let down by the school system as they tend to just pass him down the line. He’s not the sharpest nail in the bucket, but he isn’t as dumb as people think. One night, Big Mike who is essentially homeless is walking to the school gym because its warm when Leigh Anne Tuohy takes him home. And ends up keeping him. The story is basically of Big Mike joining the Tuohy family, finding his place on the football field and getting a leg up.
So far so movie of the week. And this is barely more than a TV movie. In fact if it wasn’t for the fact that this is more or less a true story it wouldn’t even be believable. Why the hell Leigh Anne decided to take in this giant black kid she didn’t know from you or I is anyone’s guess. And its kind of a shame that someone just doing something incredibly nice is so hard to believe, but that’s the world.
Big Mike is quite, very well mannered and generally a bit baffled. Or seems to be as there is quite a lot going on in that big noggin. He’s played well by Quinton Aaron, though sometimes the roll is just having expressive eyes and shutting the hell up. The big liberty they take with the story is that apparently he had played football before the events of the movie and he wasn’t such a big softy on the field, but the liberty taken for story purposes is understandable.
I ranted about how much I hate Sandra Bullock in general when I reviewed Movie 9: The Proposal. Not even done one month and I’ve seen two of her movies. There’s been a lot of talk about her amazing work here and about getting an Oscar. I don’t see where all that is coming from. She’s does decent work yes. She seems like a human being, all be it one who doesn’t show much emotion. And a lot of the character is the same kind of stuff that she always plays. Good yes, but nothing that made me amazed at any moment. I kept waiting for that one great scene, but it never appears.
Jae Head as the precocious, and I mean that in a good way this time, wee brother is fun though. None of that annoying kid malarkey. And everyone else, including Kathy Bates in one of her nice but tough roles, is good too. But it is just an uplifting TV movie. Plenty of heart warming inspirational bits, lots of laughs, a kind of glossed over feeling as they cram a story in to 2 hours, and that’s it. Sure, a later on TV movie as there some swears and adult themes, but this could still have been “The Blind Side : The Story of Michael Oher” and you wouldn’t see much difference.
Oh and there’s some good FOOTBALL too, but not loads for those of you that don’t like it. If you do then go watch Varsity Blues instead cause that film rules.
So far so movie of the week. And this is barely more than a TV movie. In fact if it wasn’t for the fact that this is more or less a true story it wouldn’t even be believable. Why the hell Leigh Anne decided to take in this giant black kid she didn’t know from you or I is anyone’s guess. And its kind of a shame that someone just doing something incredibly nice is so hard to believe, but that’s the world.
Big Mike is quite, very well mannered and generally a bit baffled. Or seems to be as there is quite a lot going on in that big noggin. He’s played well by Quinton Aaron, though sometimes the roll is just having expressive eyes and shutting the hell up. The big liberty they take with the story is that apparently he had played football before the events of the movie and he wasn’t such a big softy on the field, but the liberty taken for story purposes is understandable.
I ranted about how much I hate Sandra Bullock in general when I reviewed Movie 9: The Proposal. Not even done one month and I’ve seen two of her movies. There’s been a lot of talk about her amazing work here and about getting an Oscar. I don’t see where all that is coming from. She’s does decent work yes. She seems like a human being, all be it one who doesn’t show much emotion. And a lot of the character is the same kind of stuff that she always plays. Good yes, but nothing that made me amazed at any moment. I kept waiting for that one great scene, but it never appears.
Jae Head as the precocious, and I mean that in a good way this time, wee brother is fun though. None of that annoying kid malarkey. And everyone else, including Kathy Bates in one of her nice but tough roles, is good too. But it is just an uplifting TV movie. Plenty of heart warming inspirational bits, lots of laughs, a kind of glossed over feeling as they cram a story in to 2 hours, and that’s it. Sure, a later on TV movie as there some swears and adult themes, but this could still have been “The Blind Side : The Story of Michael Oher” and you wouldn’t see much difference.
Oh and there’s some good FOOTBALL too, but not loads for those of you that don’t like it. If you do then go watch Varsity Blues instead cause that film rules.
Movie 28: Avatar in 33333333ddddddddddddddddddddd
I actually watched this yesterday but was too tired to blog when I got home.
So, the plot. See also The Last Samurai, Pocahontas, etc etc etc. A marine who’s been crippled steps, well not STEPS, wheels in to take his identical twin brothers place in the Avatar program. Scientist use genetically engineered bodies that are half human, half Na’vi to interact with the alien inhabitants of the world Pandora. For the scientists its to learn about the natives, for the company paying for it it’s to move there asses so they can mine for a precious element under their Home Tree, which is a big fuck off tree they live in. And as you can tell from the above comparisons, the marine goes native.
AND IT’S THE MOST AMAZING MOVIE EVER I WISH I COULD LIVE ON PANDORA I FEEL SO DEPRESSED IT WAS LIKE I WAS IN THE SCREEN HOLY SHIT
Not quite.
I will admit that it may have suffered a bit too much from expectation. From all the hype, I’ve only really seen one bad review from Mr Feetenby, I expected to sit here and say “next years project is dividing the screen in to 365 different rectangles and reviewing every aspect of the amazing Avatar”. While I’ll probably watch it again, the Blu Ray wouldn’t get worn out.
Yes the effects are amazing. To the extent where you have to remind yourself that it’s all effects and they didn’t just shoot it in a jungle. The FLORA effects anyway. I found some of the Fauna to still be a bit fake looking. And kind of unimaginative. Why the hell does everything have 6 limbs? That doesn’t make it more alien looking if you do it with everything. And what did the Na’vi evolve from? Cause they only have 4. If 4 is better everyone would be doing it.
The bio-diversity as a whole was a bit lacking, but that might be a multi watch thing. Before Jake walks in to the jungle the first time your told that “everything here wants to kill you”. About 5 things what to kill you. It looks no more scary than the Amazon, but bigger.
Yeah, these are niggles and to be honest I don’t have much more than niggles to complain about as it is a very well done movie. Maybe a bit hippy crap, but they do try to explain the hippy nonsense. There one thing that is a bit weirder in the particular version of the “white guy goes native” story than in the others. Why does Jake want to do it with an alien? Yes they’re relatively human looking, not bad to look at if a bit gangly, but they aren’t human. All the other times its been a person with different coloured skin, this time its kinda beastiality. And for all the people talking about the cut sex scene, and how they have sex with the hair connector piece which means they fuck they’re horses….no. They quite clearly are about to have normal sex, with an added neural connection element. Like telepath sex is described in Babylon 5. You people are weird.
Also, all the people complaining that it’s a scathing attack on American Imperialism, no. For one thing it’s a company, not a government. It may be a Blackwater attack, but only maybe. If anything it’s closer to Zulu as the natives hardly have AK47 and they aren’t suicide bombing or anything. Get over yourselves.
I’ll say this though, if Major Obidiah Q Hardass wasn’t the bad guy in the movie how awesome would that dude be? I can’t remember his name and he’ll always be Major Hardass to me. I’d watch that guy in 12 movies that he isn’t being a complete asshole in cause he eats lead and shits bullets.
3D doesn’t quite cut it for me yet btw. It’s hardly full immersion. It has edges. If it was some kind of VR headset then yes I’d be fully immersed, but I always new I was watching a movie. And sometimes there were fuzzy bits but that could be shit projection. I also had the same kind of headache you get after you’ve been wearing new glasses for a couple of hours after the movie, so be warned.
So to sum up, yes very pretty look at the shiny. The plot isn’t too bad but doesn’t re-invent the wheel (has some new ideas in it though). Some stuff seemed a bit glossed over (the end section, don’t want to give spoilers of the last 20 minutes). Not a best picture contender, but it will win for effects.
One last thing. Why oh why does the guy who goes native always have to be some kind of amazing saviour for the people they join? Can’t they just be a regular member of the society who can give incites in to the enemy they’re about to fight? Jake’s a Na’vi for 3 months and he’s better than everyone else who’s been one for their entire lives?! THAT is bullshit. Oh and if your gonna make aliens with prehensile tales, let them use them for something other than balance sometimes eh?
Right I’m done. Yes I did like it, all the complaints are minor ones. I’d watch it if you haven’t already.
So, the plot. See also The Last Samurai, Pocahontas, etc etc etc. A marine who’s been crippled steps, well not STEPS, wheels in to take his identical twin brothers place in the Avatar program. Scientist use genetically engineered bodies that are half human, half Na’vi to interact with the alien inhabitants of the world Pandora. For the scientists its to learn about the natives, for the company paying for it it’s to move there asses so they can mine for a precious element under their Home Tree, which is a big fuck off tree they live in. And as you can tell from the above comparisons, the marine goes native.
AND IT’S THE MOST AMAZING MOVIE EVER I WISH I COULD LIVE ON PANDORA I FEEL SO DEPRESSED IT WAS LIKE I WAS IN THE SCREEN HOLY SHIT
Not quite.
I will admit that it may have suffered a bit too much from expectation. From all the hype, I’ve only really seen one bad review from Mr Feetenby, I expected to sit here and say “next years project is dividing the screen in to 365 different rectangles and reviewing every aspect of the amazing Avatar”. While I’ll probably watch it again, the Blu Ray wouldn’t get worn out.
Yes the effects are amazing. To the extent where you have to remind yourself that it’s all effects and they didn’t just shoot it in a jungle. The FLORA effects anyway. I found some of the Fauna to still be a bit fake looking. And kind of unimaginative. Why the hell does everything have 6 limbs? That doesn’t make it more alien looking if you do it with everything. And what did the Na’vi evolve from? Cause they only have 4. If 4 is better everyone would be doing it.
The bio-diversity as a whole was a bit lacking, but that might be a multi watch thing. Before Jake walks in to the jungle the first time your told that “everything here wants to kill you”. About 5 things what to kill you. It looks no more scary than the Amazon, but bigger.
Yeah, these are niggles and to be honest I don’t have much more than niggles to complain about as it is a very well done movie. Maybe a bit hippy crap, but they do try to explain the hippy nonsense. There one thing that is a bit weirder in the particular version of the “white guy goes native” story than in the others. Why does Jake want to do it with an alien? Yes they’re relatively human looking, not bad to look at if a bit gangly, but they aren’t human. All the other times its been a person with different coloured skin, this time its kinda beastiality. And for all the people talking about the cut sex scene, and how they have sex with the hair connector piece which means they fuck they’re horses….no. They quite clearly are about to have normal sex, with an added neural connection element. Like telepath sex is described in Babylon 5. You people are weird.
Also, all the people complaining that it’s a scathing attack on American Imperialism, no. For one thing it’s a company, not a government. It may be a Blackwater attack, but only maybe. If anything it’s closer to Zulu as the natives hardly have AK47 and they aren’t suicide bombing or anything. Get over yourselves.
I’ll say this though, if Major Obidiah Q Hardass wasn’t the bad guy in the movie how awesome would that dude be? I can’t remember his name and he’ll always be Major Hardass to me. I’d watch that guy in 12 movies that he isn’t being a complete asshole in cause he eats lead and shits bullets.
3D doesn’t quite cut it for me yet btw. It’s hardly full immersion. It has edges. If it was some kind of VR headset then yes I’d be fully immersed, but I always new I was watching a movie. And sometimes there were fuzzy bits but that could be shit projection. I also had the same kind of headache you get after you’ve been wearing new glasses for a couple of hours after the movie, so be warned.
So to sum up, yes very pretty look at the shiny. The plot isn’t too bad but doesn’t re-invent the wheel (has some new ideas in it though). Some stuff seemed a bit glossed over (the end section, don’t want to give spoilers of the last 20 minutes). Not a best picture contender, but it will win for effects.
One last thing. Why oh why does the guy who goes native always have to be some kind of amazing saviour for the people they join? Can’t they just be a regular member of the society who can give incites in to the enemy they’re about to fight? Jake’s a Na’vi for 3 months and he’s better than everyone else who’s been one for their entire lives?! THAT is bullshit. Oh and if your gonna make aliens with prehensile tales, let them use them for something other than balance sometimes eh?
Right I’m done. Yes I did like it, all the complaints are minor ones. I’d watch it if you haven’t already.
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
Movie 27: The Baader Meinhof Complex
And we turn to IMDB for the description again:
Germany in the 1970s: Murderous bomb attacks, the threat of terrorism and the fear of the enemy inside are rocking the very foundations of the yet fragile German democracy. The radicalised children of the Nazi generation lead by Andreas Baader, Ulrike Meinhof and Gudrun Ensslin are fighting a violent war against what they perceive as the new face of fascism: American imperialism supported by the German establishment, many of whom have a Nazi past. Their aim is to create a more human society but by employing inhuman means they not only spread terror and bloodshed, they also lose their own humanity. The man who understands them is also their hunter: the head of the German police force Horst Herold. And while he succeeds in his relentless pursuit of the young terrorists, he knows he's only dealing with the tip of the iceberg.
Thank you to Constantin Film, used without permission but I’m not nicking it if I give credit am I?
The main problem with the movie is that I couldn’t really see WHAT they were rebelling against. Yes there’s a bit of protesting about Vietnam, but how that adds up to living in a fascist state I don’t know. At the start there is a protest again Iran, think it’s Persians actually, and the cops get way over the top but was that it?! Really!? Bit of a shaky reason to form a terrorist organisation.
I didn’t really have anyone to root for. This is based on a true story but I can’t speak to its accuracy. What I’d expect, and the last few scenes kind of show it, would be some people starting off with high ideals only to see them spin out of there control so you feel sorry for them after maybe getting there point. Whether you agree with them or not, if they had a semi-decent cause it’s possible to kind of get behind it for an hour or so
What I got was a bunch of assholes who appear to have half read some Marx and seen a poster of Che Guevara, who expect respect off people without giving it, and start shooting and blowing stuff up to be “anarchists”. And then they just go full fledged terrorist really.
I do actually draw a line between freedom fighter and terrorist btw, target choice. If it’s the army, the police and the government only then you’re a freedom fighter. That’s not to say that I could just blow up a police station. I’m not repressed in any way. You attack anything else, you’re a terrorist. If you don’t have a just cause, you’re a terrorist.
So without anyone to care about, and yes its terrible the way they were treated at times once captured but tough, it’s a loooooooooong watch. The one character that came across as intelligent and likable was Bruno Ganz’s police chief. But unfortunately he’s very under used.
Did give me one chuckle though. The terrorists are called the RAF. Bruno Ganz plays Hitler in Downfall. So this is a movie about Hitler vs the RAF. Nice.
Load of wank, I’d just leave it if I were you. If it wasn’t for Run Lola Run I’d start thinking I didn’t like any German movies. I’m sure there have been more than that. I will say this though, this was an easier watch than The White Ribbon….
Hey look, I’m caught up again!
Germany in the 1970s: Murderous bomb attacks, the threat of terrorism and the fear of the enemy inside are rocking the very foundations of the yet fragile German democracy. The radicalised children of the Nazi generation lead by Andreas Baader, Ulrike Meinhof and Gudrun Ensslin are fighting a violent war against what they perceive as the new face of fascism: American imperialism supported by the German establishment, many of whom have a Nazi past. Their aim is to create a more human society but by employing inhuman means they not only spread terror and bloodshed, they also lose their own humanity. The man who understands them is also their hunter: the head of the German police force Horst Herold. And while he succeeds in his relentless pursuit of the young terrorists, he knows he's only dealing with the tip of the iceberg.
Thank you to Constantin Film, used without permission but I’m not nicking it if I give credit am I?
The main problem with the movie is that I couldn’t really see WHAT they were rebelling against. Yes there’s a bit of protesting about Vietnam, but how that adds up to living in a fascist state I don’t know. At the start there is a protest again Iran, think it’s Persians actually, and the cops get way over the top but was that it?! Really!? Bit of a shaky reason to form a terrorist organisation.
I didn’t really have anyone to root for. This is based on a true story but I can’t speak to its accuracy. What I’d expect, and the last few scenes kind of show it, would be some people starting off with high ideals only to see them spin out of there control so you feel sorry for them after maybe getting there point. Whether you agree with them or not, if they had a semi-decent cause it’s possible to kind of get behind it for an hour or so
What I got was a bunch of assholes who appear to have half read some Marx and seen a poster of Che Guevara, who expect respect off people without giving it, and start shooting and blowing stuff up to be “anarchists”. And then they just go full fledged terrorist really.
I do actually draw a line between freedom fighter and terrorist btw, target choice. If it’s the army, the police and the government only then you’re a freedom fighter. That’s not to say that I could just blow up a police station. I’m not repressed in any way. You attack anything else, you’re a terrorist. If you don’t have a just cause, you’re a terrorist.
So without anyone to care about, and yes its terrible the way they were treated at times once captured but tough, it’s a loooooooooong watch. The one character that came across as intelligent and likable was Bruno Ganz’s police chief. But unfortunately he’s very under used.
Did give me one chuckle though. The terrorists are called the RAF. Bruno Ganz plays Hitler in Downfall. So this is a movie about Hitler vs the RAF. Nice.
Load of wank, I’d just leave it if I were you. If it wasn’t for Run Lola Run I’d start thinking I didn’t like any German movies. I’m sure there have been more than that. I will say this though, this was an easier watch than The White Ribbon….
Hey look, I’m caught up again!
Movie 26: Invictus
Nelson Mandela has only recently come to power and he faces a number of challenges, including uniting a country that was divided by race for so long. To do this he focuses on the national Rugby team, the Springboks, who have large numbers of white supporters but not really any blacks. The aim is to rally everyone behind the national team for the upcoming world cup and help the divisions ease with a common target to root for.
And it works. Dunno if that should be counted as a spoiler but this is a true story so pay more attention in history class.
Mandela is a great man. I was born in 1980 so I remember him getting out of the nick and being elected. We were all very happy in my household when that happened. Being a child of the 80’s I’m still not really that big a fan of South Africa, hate the accent which doesn’t help. Or Russia at times for that matter but that’s way off topic. Morgan Freeman was the obvious choice to play him, along with being Mandela’s choice, so no surprise there. The only problem was that I wasn’t entirely sucked in by the performance. I never really stopped seeing Freeman and started seeing Mandela. Don’t get me wrong, he did a great job, but with such familiar faces (the actor AND the role) it was a bit of a losing battle.
I totally bought Matt Damon though, he nailed this one. And the rest of the supporting cast held there own.
There is one big problem though, nay a HUGE problem. I had no fucking clue what was happening for a quarter of the movie. I’m not a fan of Rugby. We played it for a few weeks every year in school but I’ve pretty much forgotten what the deal is. And there isn’t really any attempt to educate you in the film when there was ample opportunity.
The team is tasked with holding master classes in some of the townships, to get the black community involved. At the start of one of these lessons we’re told “the first rule of Rugby is that you can pass backwards or to the side”. Apparently that’s the only rule as they don’t tell us anything else. It would have been completely forgivable to have a Basil Exposition seen where we’re taught how the hell the game works. But we aren’t.
This problem is compounded by two things. The first game they play both sides seem to be wearing gold and green. I wasn’t sure whether to root for the guys in gold shirts or in green shirts. The second is that in the big match the score isn’t shown much until the end so I had trouble working out how close the game was. I actually thought they were getting HUMPED when they weren’t.
If you’re a Rugby fan you’ll probably like this a bit more than I did. I enjoyed the hell out of the movie, bar the fact I spent 20 minutes staring at a confusing mess of men fucking about with an egg shaped ball. That said, the way the matches were shot did show how bloody brutal the whole thing is.
I wish he’d just pointed the camera at the Haka though instead of moving it about so we could see the damned thing in all it’s glory. Matt Damon cam if you will.
And it works. Dunno if that should be counted as a spoiler but this is a true story so pay more attention in history class.
Mandela is a great man. I was born in 1980 so I remember him getting out of the nick and being elected. We were all very happy in my household when that happened. Being a child of the 80’s I’m still not really that big a fan of South Africa, hate the accent which doesn’t help. Or Russia at times for that matter but that’s way off topic. Morgan Freeman was the obvious choice to play him, along with being Mandela’s choice, so no surprise there. The only problem was that I wasn’t entirely sucked in by the performance. I never really stopped seeing Freeman and started seeing Mandela. Don’t get me wrong, he did a great job, but with such familiar faces (the actor AND the role) it was a bit of a losing battle.
I totally bought Matt Damon though, he nailed this one. And the rest of the supporting cast held there own.
There is one big problem though, nay a HUGE problem. I had no fucking clue what was happening for a quarter of the movie. I’m not a fan of Rugby. We played it for a few weeks every year in school but I’ve pretty much forgotten what the deal is. And there isn’t really any attempt to educate you in the film when there was ample opportunity.
The team is tasked with holding master classes in some of the townships, to get the black community involved. At the start of one of these lessons we’re told “the first rule of Rugby is that you can pass backwards or to the side”. Apparently that’s the only rule as they don’t tell us anything else. It would have been completely forgivable to have a Basil Exposition seen where we’re taught how the hell the game works. But we aren’t.
This problem is compounded by two things. The first game they play both sides seem to be wearing gold and green. I wasn’t sure whether to root for the guys in gold shirts or in green shirts. The second is that in the big match the score isn’t shown much until the end so I had trouble working out how close the game was. I actually thought they were getting HUMPED when they weren’t.
If you’re a Rugby fan you’ll probably like this a bit more than I did. I enjoyed the hell out of the movie, bar the fact I spent 20 minutes staring at a confusing mess of men fucking about with an egg shaped ball. That said, the way the matches were shot did show how bloody brutal the whole thing is.
I wish he’d just pointed the camera at the Haka though instead of moving it about so we could see the damned thing in all it’s glory. Matt Damon cam if you will.
Tuesday, 26 January 2010
Movie 25: Chinatown
Jake Gittes is a detective who is hired to work a possible adultery case, his stock in trade. The woman who hired him turns out to have been doing so under false pretences, using another woman’s name, and Jake finds himself embroiled in a tale of corruption in LA’s water department
Doesn’t that just sound thrilling? We all love a good water scandal.
To be fair your average detective story can have any kind of maguffin behind it. And as these things go the one for Chinatown isn’t too bad. It gives plenty of little twists and turns to the plot and the odd “ah ha!” moment. But I really expected a whole lot more.
I don’t get what the big deal is. It’s a passable movie, everyone acts fine in it, but I just found it very meh. Why this ends up on top 100’s of all time and gets lauded as a fantastic film I don’t know. On IMDB it says that the AFI ranks this #2 in the mystery category. I have a Bogart box set that has 4 films in it, and any of those could be above this.
Frankly, and while it’s not technically a sequel, Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (it uses themes for the proposed third film in a trilogy, I haven’t seen “The Two Jakes” which is the second) is more enjoyable making it the first time a third movie is better than the first (arguments in the comments on that).
Yeah this is good, passable, but not some kind of amazing classic (hence the fact I haven’t even spoken about it much). Maybe I missed the point…
Doesn’t that just sound thrilling? We all love a good water scandal.
To be fair your average detective story can have any kind of maguffin behind it. And as these things go the one for Chinatown isn’t too bad. It gives plenty of little twists and turns to the plot and the odd “ah ha!” moment. But I really expected a whole lot more.
I don’t get what the big deal is. It’s a passable movie, everyone acts fine in it, but I just found it very meh. Why this ends up on top 100’s of all time and gets lauded as a fantastic film I don’t know. On IMDB it says that the AFI ranks this #2 in the mystery category. I have a Bogart box set that has 4 films in it, and any of those could be above this.
Frankly, and while it’s not technically a sequel, Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (it uses themes for the proposed third film in a trilogy, I haven’t seen “The Two Jakes” which is the second) is more enjoyable making it the first time a third movie is better than the first (arguments in the comments on that).
Yeah this is good, passable, but not some kind of amazing classic (hence the fact I haven’t even spoken about it much). Maybe I missed the point…
Movie 24: Taken
Liam Neeson plays Steven Seagal, an ex-CIA “preventor” who has retired to be closer to his 17 year old daughter in the hopes that he can form a better relationship with her. She decides to go on a trip to France with her friend, which he is iffy about but allows her to go, with a number of conditions. One of these conditions is that she calls him regularly.
She’s 17 so she forgets. But when he’s calling her her friend is grabbed by some unknown men. Aware that his daughter is next, Neeson gets as many clues as he can to get him started then warns the men that they kidnapped the wrong guys daughter.
And the kidnappers are in the sex slave trade, so a bunch of really nice guys which is why we feel sorry when Liam goes all shooty balls on them. Not really.
Make no mistake, the only difference between THIS movie and a Steven Seagal movie, admittedly a GOOD Seagal movie, is that the lead in this is Irish. And it got a theatrical release. That said I genuinely like his movies, in fact we have one in the not to distant future. I hadn’t watched on up until about 5 years ago when a very short lived girlfriend (by that I mean the relationship, she didn’t have a 2 year lifespan or something. We dated for like a month basically) really liked his films so I watched a few. They can be hit or miss, but they ain’t that bad. Even if he can come across as an arrogant prick.
Please don’t hurt me Mr Seagal, I’ll buy all your movies AND your music album assuming you have one. I did plan to see your band when you were in Inverness but weren’t the tickets something like £70?! I mean JESUS, you’re not Muddy Waters you egotistical pri…..
I failed in my apology there huh? I have a mate who’s a ninja, he’ll take care of it (hopefully) if I get moidered.
Anyway the film. If you looking for an intelligent study of father / daughter relationships in a European setting with many scenes discussing how a work of art reflects the inner turmoil of our characters then you’ll be disappointed. If you want to see Liam Neeson use some skills similar to the start of Batman Begins, blow a bunch of shit up, hit many Easter European bad guys in the face, jam nails into one guys legs and electrocute him to find where his daughter is then you’ll be happy.
I was happy.
Beside’s Liam, who takes a bit of the Connery approach to acting in this as his character is pretending to be a French detective and his accent doesn’t change (no one notices) the cast is all fine. Not that there’s a whole lot of side stuff that matters as this is a fast paced movie. Occasionally it’s a bit MTV edited and over shaky cammed, but I’ve seen worse. And the close combat fighting seems realistic enough to me (they had an SAS dude helping).
So if your up for it, check it out. If you don’t like explosions and some Bauer type action, don’t.
She’s 17 so she forgets. But when he’s calling her her friend is grabbed by some unknown men. Aware that his daughter is next, Neeson gets as many clues as he can to get him started then warns the men that they kidnapped the wrong guys daughter.
And the kidnappers are in the sex slave trade, so a bunch of really nice guys which is why we feel sorry when Liam goes all shooty balls on them. Not really.
Make no mistake, the only difference between THIS movie and a Steven Seagal movie, admittedly a GOOD Seagal movie, is that the lead in this is Irish. And it got a theatrical release. That said I genuinely like his movies, in fact we have one in the not to distant future. I hadn’t watched on up until about 5 years ago when a very short lived girlfriend (by that I mean the relationship, she didn’t have a 2 year lifespan or something. We dated for like a month basically) really liked his films so I watched a few. They can be hit or miss, but they ain’t that bad. Even if he can come across as an arrogant prick.
Please don’t hurt me Mr Seagal, I’ll buy all your movies AND your music album assuming you have one. I did plan to see your band when you were in Inverness but weren’t the tickets something like £70?! I mean JESUS, you’re not Muddy Waters you egotistical pri…..
I failed in my apology there huh? I have a mate who’s a ninja, he’ll take care of it (hopefully) if I get moidered.
Anyway the film. If you looking for an intelligent study of father / daughter relationships in a European setting with many scenes discussing how a work of art reflects the inner turmoil of our characters then you’ll be disappointed. If you want to see Liam Neeson use some skills similar to the start of Batman Begins, blow a bunch of shit up, hit many Easter European bad guys in the face, jam nails into one guys legs and electrocute him to find where his daughter is then you’ll be happy.
I was happy.
Beside’s Liam, who takes a bit of the Connery approach to acting in this as his character is pretending to be a French detective and his accent doesn’t change (no one notices) the cast is all fine. Not that there’s a whole lot of side stuff that matters as this is a fast paced movie. Occasionally it’s a bit MTV edited and over shaky cammed, but I’ve seen worse. And the close combat fighting seems realistic enough to me (they had an SAS dude helping).
So if your up for it, check it out. If you don’t like explosions and some Bauer type action, don’t.
Monday, 25 January 2010
Movie 23: Inglorious Basterds
Once upon a time in Nazi occupied France, a band of 8 Jewish soldiers, the Basterds, are given one task. Kill some Nazi’s. Make them shit there pants with fear at the thought of their band.
In another part of Nazi occupied France a young Jewish girl who survived her families killing at the hands of “The Jew Hunter” runs a cinema. A rising star in the Nazi army, who killed nearly 300 soldiers single headedly from a sniper post, takes a shine to her and arranges for the premier of the movie about and staring him to be shown at said cinema.
Attending this screening will be the top brass of the Nazi regime. A perfect opportunity for revenge for the woman, and to kill some fuckin Nazi’s for the Basterds.
And there you have a Natsploitation set up. I have no idea how to actually spell that, but it’s Tarantino so the films genre has to have ploitation at the ends of it and Naziploitation looks silly to me. So considering the director we have its got some of the 70’s Nazi film influence, and a big chunk of Spaghetti Western thrown in. It’s also filled with anachronisms and deliberate fuck ups as that’s just how Quentin rolls.
The narrative structure comes in chapters, up until the last it bounces between the two threads (like you didn’t know they’d meet). This is effective bar possibly the 4th chapter which I think was a little bit too long. It didn’t quite reach Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon levels of forgetting you were watching one film and thought you were watching another (seriously, how fucking long is the Hun love story Tiger? 27 hours?! FAR too long. It’s shit anyway) but I would have liked another scene of the Basterds doing what they do stuck in the middle of that big bit of set up. After all, the film isn’t called “Pissed Of French Jewish Cinema Owner”
But besides that little niggle I don’t have all that much to complain about. The performances are all great. It has the trademark Tarantino “people sit about and shoot the shit about stuff” dialogue heavy scenes that I happen to like, though didn’t quite fit as well in Death proof. It no doubt has a hell of a lot of information about movies I’ve never heard of and will probably never see as the guy is a god damned encyclopedia. And it has some nasty and shocking bits in it.
It’s also 70% in other languages, so bring your reading glasses. I guess this is technically Quentin’s first foreign movie as well, which makes it a little cheeky for it to be nominated for various awards that other foreign movies don’t get nominated for. But that’s not a big deal really.
It’s also pretty damned long, but was allegedly longer before some pre-Cannes trimming. So bring a snack. Maybe some schnitzel.
If you like Tarantino, you’ll like this. If you like crazy World War II movies, you’ll like this. If you don’t like either….what the hell is wrong with you?!
Oh, on a complete side note and just to highlight how film geeky QT is, the soundtrack features stuff from all over the place. Some of it is a bit jarring as its clearly a lot more modern than the setting. I didn’t really pick up on it while watching, but one piece of music he uses is from The Entity which I caught some of very late one night at the gf’s. A big part of that film appears to be a woman being attacked, generally raped, by a poltergeist of some kind while this very loud BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW soundtrack thumps away in the background (like a kid mashing on a keyboard). This became a couple of days worth of joke as its frikkin hilarious.
Eh, you probably have to have been there. Btw, Baader-Meinhof should be next so I’m being steeped in ze German at the moment…
In another part of Nazi occupied France a young Jewish girl who survived her families killing at the hands of “The Jew Hunter” runs a cinema. A rising star in the Nazi army, who killed nearly 300 soldiers single headedly from a sniper post, takes a shine to her and arranges for the premier of the movie about and staring him to be shown at said cinema.
Attending this screening will be the top brass of the Nazi regime. A perfect opportunity for revenge for the woman, and to kill some fuckin Nazi’s for the Basterds.
And there you have a Natsploitation set up. I have no idea how to actually spell that, but it’s Tarantino so the films genre has to have ploitation at the ends of it and Naziploitation looks silly to me. So considering the director we have its got some of the 70’s Nazi film influence, and a big chunk of Spaghetti Western thrown in. It’s also filled with anachronisms and deliberate fuck ups as that’s just how Quentin rolls.
The narrative structure comes in chapters, up until the last it bounces between the two threads (like you didn’t know they’d meet). This is effective bar possibly the 4th chapter which I think was a little bit too long. It didn’t quite reach Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon levels of forgetting you were watching one film and thought you were watching another (seriously, how fucking long is the Hun love story Tiger? 27 hours?! FAR too long. It’s shit anyway) but I would have liked another scene of the Basterds doing what they do stuck in the middle of that big bit of set up. After all, the film isn’t called “Pissed Of French Jewish Cinema Owner”
But besides that little niggle I don’t have all that much to complain about. The performances are all great. It has the trademark Tarantino “people sit about and shoot the shit about stuff” dialogue heavy scenes that I happen to like, though didn’t quite fit as well in Death proof. It no doubt has a hell of a lot of information about movies I’ve never heard of and will probably never see as the guy is a god damned encyclopedia. And it has some nasty and shocking bits in it.
It’s also 70% in other languages, so bring your reading glasses. I guess this is technically Quentin’s first foreign movie as well, which makes it a little cheeky for it to be nominated for various awards that other foreign movies don’t get nominated for. But that’s not a big deal really.
It’s also pretty damned long, but was allegedly longer before some pre-Cannes trimming. So bring a snack. Maybe some schnitzel.
If you like Tarantino, you’ll like this. If you like crazy World War II movies, you’ll like this. If you don’t like either….what the hell is wrong with you?!
Oh, on a complete side note and just to highlight how film geeky QT is, the soundtrack features stuff from all over the place. Some of it is a bit jarring as its clearly a lot more modern than the setting. I didn’t really pick up on it while watching, but one piece of music he uses is from The Entity which I caught some of very late one night at the gf’s. A big part of that film appears to be a woman being attacked, generally raped, by a poltergeist of some kind while this very loud BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW soundtrack thumps away in the background (like a kid mashing on a keyboard). This became a couple of days worth of joke as its frikkin hilarious.
Eh, you probably have to have been there. Btw, Baader-Meinhof should be next so I’m being steeped in ze German at the moment…
Sunday, 24 January 2010
Movie 22: There Will Be Blood
From IMDB: The film follows the rise to power of Daniel Plainview - a charismatic and ruthless oil prospector, driven to succeed by his intense hatred of others and psychological need to see any and all competitors fail. When he learns of oil-rich land in California that can be bought cheaply, he moves his operation there and begins manipulating and exploiting the local landowners into selling him their property. Using his young adopted son H.W. to project the image of a caring family man, Plainview gains the cooperation of almost all the locals with lofty promises to build schools and cultivate the land to make their community flourish. Over time, Plainview's gradual accumulation of wealth and power causes his true self to surface, and he begins to slowly alienate himself from everyone in his life
Thank you Denny Gibbons, you saved me typing a bunch.
So yes, oil. It’s actually quite interesting that through the first half of the movie you basically see the evolution of drilling technology and methods of getting oil out of the ground. Everything I know I’ve learned from movies, so now I know a bit of that. And about 50 years later you’ve got the big assed offshore rigs that I can see if I go down the road a bit. They don’t drill here, but they come in to be sheltered or fixed.
Daniel Day-Lewis plays the main character, Jeremiah Q Crazypants. He starts off seeming like quite a nice guy, talking about how important family is with his (not really) son in tow. Over the course of the film the fact that he’s a bubbling bowl of constant rage and sociopathic tendencies comes to the fore. Quite a performance from Day-Lewis as usual, with a specially tailored dialect and accent to fit the period and some mannerisms reflecting the hard life that the character has had physically.
The one character I was surprised DIDN’T go any more mental was Eli, the local preacher, who seems to be a bit of an early televangelist and faith healer. I fully expect that by the end of the film Eli would be standing in a room full of people mowing them down with a tommy gun and yelling how Jesus was in the bullets. Turns out he’s just a crazy religious guy. Hope that wasn’t much of a spoiler.
This is an entertaining movie, very well shot, well acted, well scripted. Possibly a little bit too long but I’m not sure what exactly could be trimmed. But be careful, because it will drink your milkshake. DRINK IT RIGHT UP!!!!
You’ll get that if you’ve seen it.
SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP.
Thank you Denny Gibbons, you saved me typing a bunch.
So yes, oil. It’s actually quite interesting that through the first half of the movie you basically see the evolution of drilling technology and methods of getting oil out of the ground. Everything I know I’ve learned from movies, so now I know a bit of that. And about 50 years later you’ve got the big assed offshore rigs that I can see if I go down the road a bit. They don’t drill here, but they come in to be sheltered or fixed.
Daniel Day-Lewis plays the main character, Jeremiah Q Crazypants. He starts off seeming like quite a nice guy, talking about how important family is with his (not really) son in tow. Over the course of the film the fact that he’s a bubbling bowl of constant rage and sociopathic tendencies comes to the fore. Quite a performance from Day-Lewis as usual, with a specially tailored dialect and accent to fit the period and some mannerisms reflecting the hard life that the character has had physically.
The one character I was surprised DIDN’T go any more mental was Eli, the local preacher, who seems to be a bit of an early televangelist and faith healer. I fully expect that by the end of the film Eli would be standing in a room full of people mowing them down with a tommy gun and yelling how Jesus was in the bullets. Turns out he’s just a crazy religious guy. Hope that wasn’t much of a spoiler.
This is an entertaining movie, very well shot, well acted, well scripted. Possibly a little bit too long but I’m not sure what exactly could be trimmed. But be careful, because it will drink your milkshake. DRINK IT RIGHT UP!!!!
You’ll get that if you’ve seen it.
SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP.
Saturday, 23 January 2010
Movie 21: The White Ribbon or Das Weisse Band – Eine Deautsche Kindergeschichte
Not entirely sure what the second half of the original title is, but it looks like “One German Kids Shite”. Who knows…
It’s pre-great war (hey I’m old and I’m not renaming it cause we had a second one, you darned kids and your ipod phone internets) Germany and a Doctor is injured when his horse is tripped by a wire mysteriously placed in his path. A few other people are also hurt in accidents or by being beaten, also mysteriously.
And some other stuff happens. What I said there takes about 90 minutes before there’s even a slight explanation.
It doesn’t really matter really as this is a thematic film rather than one who’s plot matters all that much. And the themes appear to be emotionlessness, child abuse and being boring as fuck. Also, slightly creepiness.
The parents here really are pretty crap when it comes to having children. They’re all very stoic, as are the kids to a large extent though that is understandable. Among the events of the movie we have a boy being tied up in bed to stop him whacking off after his father tells him about another boy who died due to masturbation. I’m not sure if that was supposed to be funny, but if it makes you listless and depressed, followed by violent and then dying with pustules on your face I’m doing it wrong.
The adults aren’t any better to each other either. The Doctor and Mid wife are having an affair (I was briefly shocked at one point as right AFTER the “you’ll die from wanking” scene there’s a behind shot of two people at it and I thought the dad was punishing his son) and when he breaks up with her later he tells her how ugly she is and that her breath stinks. Repeatedly.
All of my descriptions above sound like some quite violently emotional scenes were contained in this 140 minute picture. There aren’t. There SHOULD be, but there aren’t. It’s possibly because its German so I’m trying not to judge too much.
All the sites thought I’d LOVE this, I’ve seen it described as beautiful in a few places and the plot synopsis on IMDB contains a lot of questions that I personally feel were just never explored. It’s dull, dreary and flat out boring to sit through.
Yes, it is kinda pretty. It’s all black and white, though I’m pretty sure I’d have remembered it that was if they’d just left it in colour. But there is nothing ground breaking here at all, looks wise.
I guess I should have known what to expect though, as the first 2 to 3 minutes is silent white credits on a black background. Just as thrilling as the rest.
Arse. Though I may just be an uncultured oik.
It’s pre-great war (hey I’m old and I’m not renaming it cause we had a second one, you darned kids and your ipod phone internets) Germany and a Doctor is injured when his horse is tripped by a wire mysteriously placed in his path. A few other people are also hurt in accidents or by being beaten, also mysteriously.
And some other stuff happens. What I said there takes about 90 minutes before there’s even a slight explanation.
It doesn’t really matter really as this is a thematic film rather than one who’s plot matters all that much. And the themes appear to be emotionlessness, child abuse and being boring as fuck. Also, slightly creepiness.
The parents here really are pretty crap when it comes to having children. They’re all very stoic, as are the kids to a large extent though that is understandable. Among the events of the movie we have a boy being tied up in bed to stop him whacking off after his father tells him about another boy who died due to masturbation. I’m not sure if that was supposed to be funny, but if it makes you listless and depressed, followed by violent and then dying with pustules on your face I’m doing it wrong.
The adults aren’t any better to each other either. The Doctor and Mid wife are having an affair (I was briefly shocked at one point as right AFTER the “you’ll die from wanking” scene there’s a behind shot of two people at it and I thought the dad was punishing his son) and when he breaks up with her later he tells her how ugly she is and that her breath stinks. Repeatedly.
All of my descriptions above sound like some quite violently emotional scenes were contained in this 140 minute picture. There aren’t. There SHOULD be, but there aren’t. It’s possibly because its German so I’m trying not to judge too much.
All the sites thought I’d LOVE this, I’ve seen it described as beautiful in a few places and the plot synopsis on IMDB contains a lot of questions that I personally feel were just never explored. It’s dull, dreary and flat out boring to sit through.
Yes, it is kinda pretty. It’s all black and white, though I’m pretty sure I’d have remembered it that was if they’d just left it in colour. But there is nothing ground breaking here at all, looks wise.
I guess I should have known what to expect though, as the first 2 to 3 minutes is silent white credits on a black background. Just as thrilling as the rest.
Arse. Though I may just be an uncultured oik.
Thursday, 21 January 2010
OMG, FALLEN BEHIND!!!1!1!!!
I'll slip a couple of films behind over the next few days as I have some work to do, BUT I'm on holiday so I'll catch up. We fixed an issue on the site that I read books/am inventory manager for so I have a butt load of promos to upload.
Speaking of that site, I'll pass you over to our President, Rachel Moran, to let you know the good thing wot we're doing. Alas, we can only sell to people in the US due to copy write issues but please spread the word.
Multi blogs to catch up in a few days :) Sorry the formatting on the below may be all to shit
Hi,
Typecast Audiobooks will donate all net proceeds when you buy audiobooks between now and February 28, 2010, to The Lambi Fund of Haiti.
The Lambi Fund is a 501(c)(3) organization with proven charitable reach and efficiency that commits to rebuild Haiti for the long term.
SHOP & HELP NOW
Helping Haiti, Helping Artists
Typecast Audiobooks returns to the performer every penny that is reasonable and viable. Our performers are vested to the full extent and for the full duration of the market value of each's work, because we believe, as a group, that our artists' creativity is priceless and, therefore, only fairly subject to free market principles.
The present promotion pays the performers at their regular rates and sustains the future of the Western Hemisphere's poorest nation in a meaningful and calculated way when that nation needs it the most.
I am grateful on a regular basis to have a life that lets me work hard enough to be financially secure--this is my modest way of doing what I can to extend similar comfort to others as much as possible.
I'd like if you help me and tell your friends the same.
SHOP & HELP NOW
Respectfully,
Rachel Moran
President - Typecast Audiobooks
Speaking of that site, I'll pass you over to our President, Rachel Moran, to let you know the good thing wot we're doing. Alas, we can only sell to people in the US due to copy write issues but please spread the word.
Multi blogs to catch up in a few days :) Sorry the formatting on the below may be all to shit
Hi,
Typecast Audiobooks will donate all net proceeds when you buy audiobooks between now and February 28, 2010, to The Lambi Fund of Haiti.
The Lambi Fund is a 501(c)(3) organization with proven charitable reach and efficiency that commits to rebuild Haiti for the long term.
SHOP & HELP NOW
Helping Haiti, Helping Artists
Typecast Audiobooks returns to the performer every penny that is reasonable and viable. Our performers are vested to the full extent and for the full duration of the market value of each's work, because we believe, as a group, that our artists' creativity is priceless and, therefore, only fairly subject to free market principles.
The present promotion pays the performers at their regular rates and sustains the future of the Western Hemisphere's poorest nation in a meaningful and calculated way when that nation needs it the most.
I am grateful on a regular basis to have a life that lets me work hard enough to be financially secure--this is my modest way of doing what I can to extend similar comfort to others as much as possible.
I'd like if you help me and tell your friends the same.
SHOP & HELP NOW
Respectfully,
Rachel Moran
President - Typecast Audiobooks
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
Movie 20: Journey To The Center Of The Earth
HA, NOT the Baader-Meinhof Complex. That will be coming in the next, lets say…oh sometime in the next week to 10 days.
Trevor’s (Brendan Fraser) brother went missing mysteriously a decade ago, and he continues his work in a lab that is about to lose it’s funding. They’re geologists (possibly seismologists, but it never really says and it doesn’t matter). His nephew is staying with him for 10 days while his sister in law relocates them to Canada, and she gives Trevor a box of his brothers stuff. In the box is a copy of Jules Verne’s Journey To The Center Of The Earth, his brothers favourite, with notes scribbled all over it. Some of the notes are seismic readings so Trevor rushes to his lab to see what the current craic is. Wait, yanks won’t get that as it’s a Scottish word. What the current readings are. They are exactly the same as 10 years before…
So off to Iceland they rush to find Professor Signaborgy Borgyborg and find that he is dead. He was a Vernian, like Max the lost brother. A Vernian is someone who believe that Verne’s book is a true account. They hike up the mountain to get some sensor readings, get stuck in a storm and end up trapped in a cave accidently. And the journey begins.
I’m dating a geologist, so can probably expect jokes like “we’re in deep schist” in my future. There’s the odd thing like that here but thankfully not too much. In fact as far as I can tell they’re relatively movie scientific about the whole thing. Some of its full on bollocks, but they use the right words and properties for anything that isn’t artistic license (free floating magnesium for one thing, it’s far too reactive for that).
But we’re talking about a family adventure movie here. You don’t expect hard science, you expect oil rig workers training to be astronauts. And this is actually a damned fine family adventure. Not an Oscar winner nor a Razzie, just something to watching on a bank holiday when your Gran is over for tea.
Funnily enough we watched the Pat Boone 1958 Journey at Christmas time. It’s a massive pile of unfettered boring arse. My gran would have been my age roughly when it came out and SHE was bored so that says something.
Parts of the movie feel like an upcoming Universal tour ride, there’s a mine car scene that was probably put in specifically a)for that purpose and b) cause this was in 3D in theatres, but that’s fine. There’s also an inexplicably smart glowing birdy too but I can let them away with that. It doesn’t TALK or anything, it just leads the teenager about and shakes its head once.
Yes, there’s the obligatory tween in this film for the kids to bond with. He’s played by Josh Hutcherson who’s done this kind of fair before (RV, Zathura) and he’s fine. Not too annoying and might prove to have some chops in the upcoming Red Dawn remake. And I like Brendan Fraser. Sure he’s made a few turkeys, but he’s just a likeable dude. Been a fan ever since California Man and he was excellent in Scrubs. Plus the first Mummy. We’ll pretend the third didn’t happen.
A lot of people might think that Anita Briem as the love interest came across quite unemotional in this but there’s a reason for that. Iceland. They are a stoic people. Whenever I watch a movie, after rating it on Love Film in case I ever need recommendations, Criticker (user name: realmacgyver) and Flixster (macgyver911 for some reason) I check the IMDB trivia and the like. Amongst the “those are cut diamonds, the geyser would boil them alive, etc” type corrects there’s a big one about how her character name is inaccurate due to Icelandic law. They have a government agency that regulates names to make sure they fit in with the convention. The correct ends with an exclamation mark because “Ya, it’s totally ridiculous huh? What a goofy mishtake!” That’s Iceland…
The big smart thing they did here though is making this a kind of follow up to the original story rather than remaking it as frankly that would be a bit dull and ridiculous now. And it opens up franchise possibilities as they can grab any old sci-fi and stick these characters in (the sequel will be Atlantis probably, I would have aimed “The Lost World” but whatever).
No next up teaser today as I don’t have a backlog of blogs, but it’ll probably be Taken.
Trevor’s (Brendan Fraser) brother went missing mysteriously a decade ago, and he continues his work in a lab that is about to lose it’s funding. They’re geologists (possibly seismologists, but it never really says and it doesn’t matter). His nephew is staying with him for 10 days while his sister in law relocates them to Canada, and she gives Trevor a box of his brothers stuff. In the box is a copy of Jules Verne’s Journey To The Center Of The Earth, his brothers favourite, with notes scribbled all over it. Some of the notes are seismic readings so Trevor rushes to his lab to see what the current craic is. Wait, yanks won’t get that as it’s a Scottish word. What the current readings are. They are exactly the same as 10 years before…
So off to Iceland they rush to find Professor Signaborgy Borgyborg and find that he is dead. He was a Vernian, like Max the lost brother. A Vernian is someone who believe that Verne’s book is a true account. They hike up the mountain to get some sensor readings, get stuck in a storm and end up trapped in a cave accidently. And the journey begins.
I’m dating a geologist, so can probably expect jokes like “we’re in deep schist” in my future. There’s the odd thing like that here but thankfully not too much. In fact as far as I can tell they’re relatively movie scientific about the whole thing. Some of its full on bollocks, but they use the right words and properties for anything that isn’t artistic license (free floating magnesium for one thing, it’s far too reactive for that).
But we’re talking about a family adventure movie here. You don’t expect hard science, you expect oil rig workers training to be astronauts. And this is actually a damned fine family adventure. Not an Oscar winner nor a Razzie, just something to watching on a bank holiday when your Gran is over for tea.
Funnily enough we watched the Pat Boone 1958 Journey at Christmas time. It’s a massive pile of unfettered boring arse. My gran would have been my age roughly when it came out and SHE was bored so that says something.
Parts of the movie feel like an upcoming Universal tour ride, there’s a mine car scene that was probably put in specifically a)for that purpose and b) cause this was in 3D in theatres, but that’s fine. There’s also an inexplicably smart glowing birdy too but I can let them away with that. It doesn’t TALK or anything, it just leads the teenager about and shakes its head once.
Yes, there’s the obligatory tween in this film for the kids to bond with. He’s played by Josh Hutcherson who’s done this kind of fair before (RV, Zathura) and he’s fine. Not too annoying and might prove to have some chops in the upcoming Red Dawn remake. And I like Brendan Fraser. Sure he’s made a few turkeys, but he’s just a likeable dude. Been a fan ever since California Man and he was excellent in Scrubs. Plus the first Mummy. We’ll pretend the third didn’t happen.
A lot of people might think that Anita Briem as the love interest came across quite unemotional in this but there’s a reason for that. Iceland. They are a stoic people. Whenever I watch a movie, after rating it on Love Film in case I ever need recommendations, Criticker (user name: realmacgyver) and Flixster (macgyver911 for some reason) I check the IMDB trivia and the like. Amongst the “those are cut diamonds, the geyser would boil them alive, etc” type corrects there’s a big one about how her character name is inaccurate due to Icelandic law. They have a government agency that regulates names to make sure they fit in with the convention. The correct ends with an exclamation mark because “Ya, it’s totally ridiculous huh? What a goofy mishtake!” That’s Iceland…
The big smart thing they did here though is making this a kind of follow up to the original story rather than remaking it as frankly that would be a bit dull and ridiculous now. And it opens up franchise possibilities as they can grab any old sci-fi and stick these characters in (the sequel will be Atlantis probably, I would have aimed “The Lost World” but whatever).
No next up teaser today as I don’t have a backlog of blogs, but it’ll probably be Taken.
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
Movie 19: Blade Runner: The Final Cut
In the future, though I guess now it’s possibly the present when development of the early models happens, man develops sophisticated androids called Replicants. They can think and resemble us perfectly. The latest model (definitely in the future now), the Nexus 6, is TOO advanced and some rebel. They are therefore deemed illegal and have to be terminated, or in PC style lingo “retired”.
Rick Deckard is a Blade Runner, a special kind of cop who retires replicants. He’s retired (not dead, just not working anymore) but when some escaped replicants are loose in LA he’s tasked with taking them down.
Got it? Now for some film blasphemy, I can’t really say I’m much of a fan. Don’t get me wrong, there’s things I like and things I don’t but on the whole I don’t quite get what the big deal is.
It’s just so…ploddy. Really slow. I’m a big fan of noir, I love cyberpunk, I love old school sci fi styling but on the important “enjoyable movie” notes this missed for me. It looks, I guess neo-noir would be a fitting term, but it doesn’t really FEEL noir to me. It might just be that I’m relatively inexperienced in what noir is exactly but I’d expect people to talk now and again. Deckard should be a bit more of a wise ass. There should be more detective work involved. What we have instead is an awful lot of lingering shots and big boughts of silence. And it might make me seem a bit thick, but I would have liked some more exposition rather than what seemed to be us having to know what was going on half the time without a teeny bit of spoon feeding. I can fill in the blanks, but not when there’s whole pages missing.
I was also hoping for a more Khan like bad guy in Rutger Hauer’s Roy. That’s possibly a failing in my part for having preconceptions. He’s more of a childish idiot with moments of brilliance. I would rather it was flipped the other way. A complete and utter genius, who acts like a nut job some of the time.
And is it just me or does the love story between Deckard and Rachael come across as her having Stockholm Syndrome to some extent? When they first have some actual passion between the two of them it like he’s raping her. Really didn’t sit right.
I’ll say this though, I did enjoy the look. I LOVE the fact that older sci fi is a strange mix of futuristic as hell and massively out dated. Giant techno pyramids and floating blimp billboards, but monitors are green screen and all machines sound like a teletype. No one has a mobile, but phones are all video phones for some reason and there’s giant billboards with Japanese women doing weird shit. GREAT!
It looks a LOT like an anime movie. And it’s shot that way too, with long lingering shots that I do generally enjoy. The problem is that scenes in between have to have dialogue going on…
Also, Deckard buys Tsingtao beer. I can recommend that, it’s really nice.
So while I may be committing movie geek blasphemy, count me out on the Blade Runner kool aid. Didn’t really do it for me. And I’m with Harrison Ford and Rutger Hauer, Deckard isn’t a replicant. It makes absolutely no sense for him to be one as I’d assume there would be some testing before someone could become a Blade Runner.
Oh and that’s one last thing. Until the last 20 minutes or so the replicants on the run don’t seem to have heard of Deckard. I’d assume that if they pulled him out of retirement, he hints that there are others, he must be the biggest and baddest of them all. Shouldn’t his name be whispered in the dark to scare new replicants to be good? Shouldn’t they be terrified of him?
Just some thoughts…
Next up: The Baader-Meinhof Complex
Rick Deckard is a Blade Runner, a special kind of cop who retires replicants. He’s retired (not dead, just not working anymore) but when some escaped replicants are loose in LA he’s tasked with taking them down.
Got it? Now for some film blasphemy, I can’t really say I’m much of a fan. Don’t get me wrong, there’s things I like and things I don’t but on the whole I don’t quite get what the big deal is.
It’s just so…ploddy. Really slow. I’m a big fan of noir, I love cyberpunk, I love old school sci fi styling but on the important “enjoyable movie” notes this missed for me. It looks, I guess neo-noir would be a fitting term, but it doesn’t really FEEL noir to me. It might just be that I’m relatively inexperienced in what noir is exactly but I’d expect people to talk now and again. Deckard should be a bit more of a wise ass. There should be more detective work involved. What we have instead is an awful lot of lingering shots and big boughts of silence. And it might make me seem a bit thick, but I would have liked some more exposition rather than what seemed to be us having to know what was going on half the time without a teeny bit of spoon feeding. I can fill in the blanks, but not when there’s whole pages missing.
I was also hoping for a more Khan like bad guy in Rutger Hauer’s Roy. That’s possibly a failing in my part for having preconceptions. He’s more of a childish idiot with moments of brilliance. I would rather it was flipped the other way. A complete and utter genius, who acts like a nut job some of the time.
And is it just me or does the love story between Deckard and Rachael come across as her having Stockholm Syndrome to some extent? When they first have some actual passion between the two of them it like he’s raping her. Really didn’t sit right.
I’ll say this though, I did enjoy the look. I LOVE the fact that older sci fi is a strange mix of futuristic as hell and massively out dated. Giant techno pyramids and floating blimp billboards, but monitors are green screen and all machines sound like a teletype. No one has a mobile, but phones are all video phones for some reason and there’s giant billboards with Japanese women doing weird shit. GREAT!
It looks a LOT like an anime movie. And it’s shot that way too, with long lingering shots that I do generally enjoy. The problem is that scenes in between have to have dialogue going on…
Also, Deckard buys Tsingtao beer. I can recommend that, it’s really nice.
So while I may be committing movie geek blasphemy, count me out on the Blade Runner kool aid. Didn’t really do it for me. And I’m with Harrison Ford and Rutger Hauer, Deckard isn’t a replicant. It makes absolutely no sense for him to be one as I’d assume there would be some testing before someone could become a Blade Runner.
Oh and that’s one last thing. Until the last 20 minutes or so the replicants on the run don’t seem to have heard of Deckard. I’d assume that if they pulled him out of retirement, he hints that there are others, he must be the biggest and baddest of them all. Shouldn’t his name be whispered in the dark to scare new replicants to be good? Shouldn’t they be terrified of him?
Just some thoughts…
Next up: The Baader-Meinhof Complex
Monday, 18 January 2010
Movie 18: The Happening
In Central Park people start acting strangely, erratic speech followed by standing completely still. They then start killing themselves by any means necessary. A short while later, men start jumping off a building at a building site. A terrorist chemical attack is suspected but people start evacuating major cities. Then it’s happens in Philly. What’s causing people to kill themselves and how do you stop it?
And who cares? Jesus this is a bad movie. But it is the guys first film, a student film at that so I should cut him some sla….wait, what? This is his 8th? Oh hell…
Now a lot of people have commented on this film as M Night Shamalamadingdong falling from the previous glory of The Sixth Sense. I didn’t see that film until last year for some reason, not sure why to be honest. So I was aware of the “amazing twist” at the end. The most amazing thing about that twist is it has apparently blinded everyone to how bad The Sixth Sense is. If you watch it knowing what’s going on the relationship between Bruce Willis and his wife is just WEIRD. In my opinion, of the movies I’ve seen, M Night has made 1.95 good movies. Unbreakable and most of Signs. The rest suck to one degree or another. Okay, Sixth isn’t too bad and I haven’t seen Lady in the Water but he’s FAR from the next Hitchcock.
And what we have hear is the first draft of a Uwe Boll movie. Apparently the way to communicate that something strange and scary is going on is to have your characters say “this is weird” “I’m scared” “what’s happening?” over and over again. And while I haven’t seen a making off I can tell you that every shot was called with the following commands:
“Roll camera’s”
“Camera’s to speed”
“Actors all furrow your brows”
“Action!”
Every damned scene everyone has a “what the fuck?!” look on their face. And no one acts or talks realistically. Don’t even get me started on the science as even if it is semi-real it couldn’t sound more fake. To me, the movie was written based on a premise that was developed from half remember Discovery Channel programming that Shyamalan watched while drunk and half asleep at 3 in the morning.
Oh and he apparently thought that the South Park spoof on global warming where people run from NOTHING was incredibly scary, as there’s a lot of that here.
I guess what I’m trying to say is…I didn’t really like this.
Next up: Blade Runner: The Final Cut. The first of this years “You haven’t seen (insert movie title)?!” films.
And who cares? Jesus this is a bad movie. But it is the guys first film, a student film at that so I should cut him some sla….wait, what? This is his 8th? Oh hell…
Now a lot of people have commented on this film as M Night Shamalamadingdong falling from the previous glory of The Sixth Sense. I didn’t see that film until last year for some reason, not sure why to be honest. So I was aware of the “amazing twist” at the end. The most amazing thing about that twist is it has apparently blinded everyone to how bad The Sixth Sense is. If you watch it knowing what’s going on the relationship between Bruce Willis and his wife is just WEIRD. In my opinion, of the movies I’ve seen, M Night has made 1.95 good movies. Unbreakable and most of Signs. The rest suck to one degree or another. Okay, Sixth isn’t too bad and I haven’t seen Lady in the Water but he’s FAR from the next Hitchcock.
And what we have hear is the first draft of a Uwe Boll movie. Apparently the way to communicate that something strange and scary is going on is to have your characters say “this is weird” “I’m scared” “what’s happening?” over and over again. And while I haven’t seen a making off I can tell you that every shot was called with the following commands:
“Roll camera’s”
“Camera’s to speed”
“Actors all furrow your brows”
“Action!”
Every damned scene everyone has a “what the fuck?!” look on their face. And no one acts or talks realistically. Don’t even get me started on the science as even if it is semi-real it couldn’t sound more fake. To me, the movie was written based on a premise that was developed from half remember Discovery Channel programming that Shyamalan watched while drunk and half asleep at 3 in the morning.
Oh and he apparently thought that the South Park spoof on global warming where people run from NOTHING was incredibly scary, as there’s a lot of that here.
I guess what I’m trying to say is…I didn’t really like this.
Next up: Blade Runner: The Final Cut. The first of this years “You haven’t seen (insert movie title)?!” films.
Sunday, 17 January 2010
Movie 17: Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs
A young boys dreams of being an inventor, but all of his inventions go slightly and disastrously wrong. The young boy becomes a young man, but nothing much changes. The down he lives in is a sardine fishing port but falls to ruin when everyone realises that sardines aren’t very nice. Flint, the inventor, comes up with a new invention that will change water in to food but it fails to work due to lack of power.
While the mayor is unveiling a new “Sardine Land” to attract tourism to the town/island he takes advantage of the distraction to hook his invention to the power station. The thing turns in to a rocket, destroys Sardine Land and shoots in to the sky. While Flint faces the towns wrath it starts to rain…cheese burgers.
And from that you get an idea of how crazy bat shit insane this film is. Surreal doesn’t come close to some of the idea floating about. But you know what? It works. It’s wall to wall madness yes, but its well thought out madness. Little things from earlier are paid off later, there character development there’s a talking monkey that’s still just a monkey so his thoughts are far from intelligent, there’s nods at some of the stupid film conventions from a few genres.
Sure, this is a kids film. And kids will love it for its balls out nuttyness. But like all the good crazy kid shit, there’s plenty of stuff for those of us with hair on our bad parts. Well, if your still a little childish anyway. There’s a reason that adults can watch Spongebob, Ren and Stimpy and Animaniacs. Or at least I can. And Cloudy has the same ingredients.
Add to that the fact that there’s one hell of a cast in this. Well, side cast anyway. I don’t know enough about Bill Hader to rate him at all. Anna Faris I’ve always thought was wasted. She has talent but she makes some damned awful choices. But I guess she enjoys the crap she’s in so who am I to argue. But outside the main characters you’ve got James Caan as Flint’s closed off father, Bruce Motherfuckin Campbell as the Mayor, Mr T (!!!!1!!) as the towns cop who for some reason does a lot of flips around, Benjamin Bratt as the mysteriously talented camera man and NEIL PATRICK HARRIS (his name is capitalised now, right?) as the voice of the TALKING MONKEY! How can a film with the Barnster, Dougie Howser himself, DOCTOR HORRIBLE as a talking monkey NOT be good?
Well I can’t answer that question as this ruled. There might be a slight bump in the middle where it gets a little slow, alas my viewing was interrupted a few times so I’m not sure on that, but I enjoyed the hell out of this. As you can probably tell at this point so I can shut up.
Next up: The Happening. Which apparently sucks, and won’t have any talking monkeys.
While the mayor is unveiling a new “Sardine Land” to attract tourism to the town/island he takes advantage of the distraction to hook his invention to the power station. The thing turns in to a rocket, destroys Sardine Land and shoots in to the sky. While Flint faces the towns wrath it starts to rain…cheese burgers.
And from that you get an idea of how crazy bat shit insane this film is. Surreal doesn’t come close to some of the idea floating about. But you know what? It works. It’s wall to wall madness yes, but its well thought out madness. Little things from earlier are paid off later, there character development there’s a talking monkey that’s still just a monkey so his thoughts are far from intelligent, there’s nods at some of the stupid film conventions from a few genres.
Sure, this is a kids film. And kids will love it for its balls out nuttyness. But like all the good crazy kid shit, there’s plenty of stuff for those of us with hair on our bad parts. Well, if your still a little childish anyway. There’s a reason that adults can watch Spongebob, Ren and Stimpy and Animaniacs. Or at least I can. And Cloudy has the same ingredients.
Add to that the fact that there’s one hell of a cast in this. Well, side cast anyway. I don’t know enough about Bill Hader to rate him at all. Anna Faris I’ve always thought was wasted. She has talent but she makes some damned awful choices. But I guess she enjoys the crap she’s in so who am I to argue. But outside the main characters you’ve got James Caan as Flint’s closed off father, Bruce Motherfuckin Campbell as the Mayor, Mr T (!!!!1!!) as the towns cop who for some reason does a lot of flips around, Benjamin Bratt as the mysteriously talented camera man and NEIL PATRICK HARRIS (his name is capitalised now, right?) as the voice of the TALKING MONKEY! How can a film with the Barnster, Dougie Howser himself, DOCTOR HORRIBLE as a talking monkey NOT be good?
Well I can’t answer that question as this ruled. There might be a slight bump in the middle where it gets a little slow, alas my viewing was interrupted a few times so I’m not sure on that, but I enjoyed the hell out of this. As you can probably tell at this point so I can shut up.
Next up: The Happening. Which apparently sucks, and won’t have any talking monkeys.
Saturday, 16 January 2010
Movie 16: The Mist
One night there’s a giant electrical storm, the biggest on record, and Thomas Jane and his family shelter in the basement. The next morning they see the devastation around about, he has a tree through his house and a crushed boat house, and Tom and son head in to town for some supplies. Before leaving they see a heck of a lot of mist rolling in, but its not that weird as they live on a lake (it is originating from the mountains though). The supermarket is packed and while waiting to buy there stuff a guy comes in screaming about how there are things in the mist.
No one is sure whether he’s full of crap or not, until someone running for there car screams in squelchy agony. Later while trying to fix the generator out take they open the door a smidge and get attacked by giant tentacles. So there ARE things in the mist. What the hell are they going to do?!
This is a movie of two parts, a sucky first hour and a really good second hour. In the first hour we are introduced to all the players and the fact that they are essentially stuck because of a mist full of beasties. Amongst the stuck people are some fine actors. I like Thomas Jane. Andre Braugher is in Men of a Certain Age which I enjoy. I always like Bill Sadler, want Alexa Davalos’ babies and don’t get why she isn’t in MORE stuff and think Frances Sternhagen is a bad ass old lady. But they all seem somewhat wasted as the characters feel under developed and the whole thing comes across as unfinished. Along side this, Marcia Gay Harden is the most annoying crazy bible thumper I’ve ever seen in a movie. Although having seen Jesus Camp and the like I know she’s unfortunately not that far fetched.
That’s all the first hour. In the second hour, well unfortunately Alexa is wasted in this movie and doesn’t make it to the good part (not that big a spoiler). But in the second hour the characters come in to there own. There’s some good scary moments, and the second bad guy is revealed. There are monsters out there, but people are just as dangerous when they start going batshit and listening to the crazy lady.
I don’t really want to spoil any of it, but it’s worth slogging through the crappy start. Yes some of the CGI is sub standard, but some of it is…well standard. The tension ratchets up and you will be “what the fuck?”ing at the screen. And it has, while probably predictable, a ballsy ending for a Hollywood picture. Not original really, just uncommon enough to be a breath of fresh air.
Next up: Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs
No one is sure whether he’s full of crap or not, until someone running for there car screams in squelchy agony. Later while trying to fix the generator out take they open the door a smidge and get attacked by giant tentacles. So there ARE things in the mist. What the hell are they going to do?!
This is a movie of two parts, a sucky first hour and a really good second hour. In the first hour we are introduced to all the players and the fact that they are essentially stuck because of a mist full of beasties. Amongst the stuck people are some fine actors. I like Thomas Jane. Andre Braugher is in Men of a Certain Age which I enjoy. I always like Bill Sadler, want Alexa Davalos’ babies and don’t get why she isn’t in MORE stuff and think Frances Sternhagen is a bad ass old lady. But they all seem somewhat wasted as the characters feel under developed and the whole thing comes across as unfinished. Along side this, Marcia Gay Harden is the most annoying crazy bible thumper I’ve ever seen in a movie. Although having seen Jesus Camp and the like I know she’s unfortunately not that far fetched.
That’s all the first hour. In the second hour, well unfortunately Alexa is wasted in this movie and doesn’t make it to the good part (not that big a spoiler). But in the second hour the characters come in to there own. There’s some good scary moments, and the second bad guy is revealed. There are monsters out there, but people are just as dangerous when they start going batshit and listening to the crazy lady.
I don’t really want to spoil any of it, but it’s worth slogging through the crappy start. Yes some of the CGI is sub standard, but some of it is…well standard. The tension ratchets up and you will be “what the fuck?”ing at the screen. And it has, while probably predictable, a ballsy ending for a Hollywood picture. Not original really, just uncommon enough to be a breath of fresh air.
Next up: Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs
Friday, 15 January 2010
Movie 15: The Bourne Ultimatum
What is it with spies and the initials JB? James Bond, Jason Bourne, Jack Bauer, John Baines… Okay that last one is a Bond parody character I’ve played on Zaombie Astronauts Frequency of Fear so doesn’t really count, but the rest do. There’s a guy in my work who’s name is John Bettley, JB. So does that mean he used to be a spy? My manager is a much more likely candidate. He went to a fancy school, admits to having a military background (claims he was a Warrant Officer, but a spy WOULD say that), lost his job in the army because the cold war ended and speaks with a poshish English accent.
His name is John Chapman. So not a spy then because a spy with the initials JC would just be ridiculous.
Today’s movie is the third and last (except for the fact they hope to make Bourne 4: The New Class which WOULD be the last honest, just like that’s my last cigarette and after last night I’m NEVER drinking again) in the Bourne series of movies. In the first our amnesiac hero searched around for his car keys and wondered who that guy in the mirror was. In the second he couldn’t remember where he parked. Let’s see what the thirds about.
But seriously, over the last two films Jason Bourne has been trying to piece together who the hell he actually is. With some of his memories coming back he tries to find his way back to the source and solve the mystery.
And I don’t really want to say much more than that as I don’t want to ruin the whole damned story. Thankfully I don’t have to as I still have something to say. I watched the first two movies years ago back to back, so my memory on them (bar the fact they were really good) is hazy. Fitting that. However some stuff did come back to me, also fitting, and I can say that this is a fitting conclusion and rounds things out nicely.
One thing that has always annoyed me about the Bond films is that he’s the worst damned spy in the world. EVERYONE knows his name and he blows EVERYTHING up so everyone knows something is going on. When they rebooted the franchise with Casino Royale it was supposed to be a return to more spy like ways (Bond did start off as more of a spy, which is why Connery rules all and Brosnan did not bad to start with). It wasn’t. It’s still all KABOOM, KABLAM, Bond, James Bond world famous spy. Load of shite.
This however has actually spy type behaviour. Bourne improvises with what he has at hand to get out of sticky spots. There’s an evade and capture quick walking sequence in this film that’s tense as hell and last for a good, what 10 or 15 minutes? The CIA don’t press magic buttons to find things out, it takes a bit of time. People care about trying to avoid each other and out wit each other. Good spy stuff!
Sure there is some kabooming. And there’s a big assed car chase or two as well. So I’m not saying it doesn’t stretch plausibility a little because it does take some artistic license. But that’s fine, this is a movie and that’s to be expected when it’s somewhat action orientated. The camera does go a bit overboard with the shaky at times too, but it is only at times. Often the hand held work does help give some realism to the film, though it makes a breakfast conversation a bit ridiculous.
The performances are all great, the script was well thought out and plotted, the action was well done (if slightly over edited) and when people fight they actually close up fight instead of some kind of wire fest that would kill most people before it was finished no matter how well trained they are. I can heartily recommend this trilogy for anyone with a brain, and if you don’t have one there’s pretty explosions for you.
And I know I was a bit hard on Bond there. I’m not a big fan though I have enjoyed….oh lets say half to be fair. I wasn’t hugely impressed with Casino Royale and have yet to see “A Smidgen of Comparison” but probably will at some point. Do wish he was a spy though….
Oh and for people who have seen the whole thing or read the same Empire interview with Kieffer Sutherland that I did which spoiled the ending of this movie (it was so good I forgot about that until we were almost at the scene in question) highlight below for a bad joke:
If they make a 4th one it’ll be a buddy cop movie teaming him up with David Mitchell. Cause his names Webb. Mitchell and Webb. Told you it was bad.
Next up: The Mist
His name is John Chapman. So not a spy then because a spy with the initials JC would just be ridiculous.
Today’s movie is the third and last (except for the fact they hope to make Bourne 4: The New Class which WOULD be the last honest, just like that’s my last cigarette and after last night I’m NEVER drinking again) in the Bourne series of movies. In the first our amnesiac hero searched around for his car keys and wondered who that guy in the mirror was. In the second he couldn’t remember where he parked. Let’s see what the thirds about.
But seriously, over the last two films Jason Bourne has been trying to piece together who the hell he actually is. With some of his memories coming back he tries to find his way back to the source and solve the mystery.
And I don’t really want to say much more than that as I don’t want to ruin the whole damned story. Thankfully I don’t have to as I still have something to say. I watched the first two movies years ago back to back, so my memory on them (bar the fact they were really good) is hazy. Fitting that. However some stuff did come back to me, also fitting, and I can say that this is a fitting conclusion and rounds things out nicely.
One thing that has always annoyed me about the Bond films is that he’s the worst damned spy in the world. EVERYONE knows his name and he blows EVERYTHING up so everyone knows something is going on. When they rebooted the franchise with Casino Royale it was supposed to be a return to more spy like ways (Bond did start off as more of a spy, which is why Connery rules all and Brosnan did not bad to start with). It wasn’t. It’s still all KABOOM, KABLAM, Bond, James Bond world famous spy. Load of shite.
This however has actually spy type behaviour. Bourne improvises with what he has at hand to get out of sticky spots. There’s an evade and capture quick walking sequence in this film that’s tense as hell and last for a good, what 10 or 15 minutes? The CIA don’t press magic buttons to find things out, it takes a bit of time. People care about trying to avoid each other and out wit each other. Good spy stuff!
Sure there is some kabooming. And there’s a big assed car chase or two as well. So I’m not saying it doesn’t stretch plausibility a little because it does take some artistic license. But that’s fine, this is a movie and that’s to be expected when it’s somewhat action orientated. The camera does go a bit overboard with the shaky at times too, but it is only at times. Often the hand held work does help give some realism to the film, though it makes a breakfast conversation a bit ridiculous.
The performances are all great, the script was well thought out and plotted, the action was well done (if slightly over edited) and when people fight they actually close up fight instead of some kind of wire fest that would kill most people before it was finished no matter how well trained they are. I can heartily recommend this trilogy for anyone with a brain, and if you don’t have one there’s pretty explosions for you.
And I know I was a bit hard on Bond there. I’m not a big fan though I have enjoyed….oh lets say half to be fair. I wasn’t hugely impressed with Casino Royale and have yet to see “A Smidgen of Comparison” but probably will at some point. Do wish he was a spy though….
Oh and for people who have seen the whole thing or read the same Empire interview with Kieffer Sutherland that I did which spoiled the ending of this movie (it was so good I forgot about that until we were almost at the scene in question) highlight below for a bad joke:
If they make a 4th one it’ll be a buddy cop movie teaming him up with David Mitchell. Cause his names Webb. Mitchell and Webb. Told you it was bad.
Next up: The Mist
Thursday, 14 January 2010
Movie 14: I Want Candy
Two film students have been working on a deep and meaningful film, The Love Storm, for 3 years and plan to make it as they’re final project. However their tutor drops the bombshell that the final projects are to be shorts of around 2 minutes, not the 90 minute feature they had planned. So they travel down to London to pitch the script to studios. Things don’t quite go according to plan and they accidentally stumble in to a porn studio and make a deal. After a bit of re-writing they set out to make the most deep and meaningful porn movie ever made with the hottest star around, Candy Fiveways.
And you get the idea. This film appears to be going for the same kind of sexy romp vibe as the “Confessions of” movies from the 70’s. I assume. I’ve never managed to sit through a whole one of those, they’re fucking AWFUL. But the soundtrack is very retro and it’s down and dirty film making.
The problem is, it’s far to tame to hit that mark. This is a movie about making a dirty movie with absolutely no nudity. Dirty innuendo a plenty, the odd dodgy situation and some gross out humour but don’t expect to see a boob. So that’s the fans of the aforementioned movies out.
And if, like me, your not a fan of those your not going to find all that much for you either. The film isn’t as clever as it thinks it is, though it has its moments. It seems underdeveloped. The version I watched was from Sky so I could assume it was some kind of slightly edited TV version, but the run time matches up with IMDB so I doubt that’s the case. It feels like chunks are missing. The love story angles just kinda happen without the necessary character development. In fact Jimmy Carr’s video shop owner character seems to be as developed as anyone and he’s very much on the side. And comes across as a half assed Randal.
Also, I’ve made many a no budget short film. What these guys chuck out looks great, but it wouldn’t with the way they made it. The film makers seem to have either forgotten or never made movies for fuck all and a packet of crisps as its tougher than they make it look here. I know it’s a sexy comedy, but faking that isn’t exactly difficult. I couldn’t believe that these guys were producing the Citizen Kane of porn and that’s a big failing.
So if you like the Confessions movies, go watch one of those. If you don’t but you want to watch a movie about some more or less amateurs making a porn, go watch Zack and Miri Make A Porno. It’s Kevin Smith’s weakest in my opinion (and I’m a HUGE fan) but it beats this hands down. Yeah that’s making an alternate recommendation and I don’t want to do that too much, but when something blah comes along I might as well point at something LESS blah…
Next up: The Bourne Ultimatum
And you get the idea. This film appears to be going for the same kind of sexy romp vibe as the “Confessions of” movies from the 70’s. I assume. I’ve never managed to sit through a whole one of those, they’re fucking AWFUL. But the soundtrack is very retro and it’s down and dirty film making.
The problem is, it’s far to tame to hit that mark. This is a movie about making a dirty movie with absolutely no nudity. Dirty innuendo a plenty, the odd dodgy situation and some gross out humour but don’t expect to see a boob. So that’s the fans of the aforementioned movies out.
And if, like me, your not a fan of those your not going to find all that much for you either. The film isn’t as clever as it thinks it is, though it has its moments. It seems underdeveloped. The version I watched was from Sky so I could assume it was some kind of slightly edited TV version, but the run time matches up with IMDB so I doubt that’s the case. It feels like chunks are missing. The love story angles just kinda happen without the necessary character development. In fact Jimmy Carr’s video shop owner character seems to be as developed as anyone and he’s very much on the side. And comes across as a half assed Randal.
Also, I’ve made many a no budget short film. What these guys chuck out looks great, but it wouldn’t with the way they made it. The film makers seem to have either forgotten or never made movies for fuck all and a packet of crisps as its tougher than they make it look here. I know it’s a sexy comedy, but faking that isn’t exactly difficult. I couldn’t believe that these guys were producing the Citizen Kane of porn and that’s a big failing.
So if you like the Confessions movies, go watch one of those. If you don’t but you want to watch a movie about some more or less amateurs making a porn, go watch Zack and Miri Make A Porno. It’s Kevin Smith’s weakest in my opinion (and I’m a HUGE fan) but it beats this hands down. Yeah that’s making an alternate recommendation and I don’t want to do that too much, but when something blah comes along I might as well point at something LESS blah…
Next up: The Bourne Ultimatum
Wednesday, 13 January 2010
Movie 13: Death Race
In the year 2012 the US economy completely collapses. A souring crime rate leads to fully privatised prisons. These prisons start cage matching the prisoners against each other to the death, resulting in high TV ratings. They then create the Death Race, cars armed to the teeth on a closed track with not many rules.
Jason Statham is an honest working stiff who’s just been laid off. While home with his wife he’s knocked out and framed for her murder. He used to be a racing driver or something and he ends up in the main Death Race prison to replace the lead driver, Frankenstein, who died in his last race but wears a mask. If he wins, he can go free.
Okay, so first of it says the US economy has collapsed. Why the hell is Statham even there?! Eh, that’s a minor niggle.
For once I have actually seen the original Death Race 2000. And I love it. Even if you haven’t seen the film you’ll have either joked or heard someone joke about getting points for hitting a pedestrian while in a car. That’s where that comes from. And its what the Carmageddon games are based on. It’s a cheap ass 70’s Corman B-movie staring David Carradine and Sly Stallone in one of, if not his first, roles. And it’s a world gone man due to over population movie like many were in that period.
This I guess is corporations and reality TV gone nuts. But it doesn’t really have much of a social commentary angle to it. It’s just balls out action, which I’m perfectly fine with. And it’s something that Jason Statham does really well. He’s a good, if mumbly, hard man with a soft side actor. You know, punch 12 guys to death to save the little kitten who he loves and pets and calls George. In fact the cast in general here are good. It doesn’t suffer from dumb action = crap acting syndrome.
I do have some issues with it though. For a start, the stakes aren’t particularly high. It’s not trying to free a nation from a corrupt dictator like the original, its just some guys trying to get out of the nick from a corrupt warden. There isn’t really all that much weapon variety either. Everyone pretty much has guns, armour and some defensive do dads. We do see a little variety, but I’d have liked to have seen more in the background. That might just be me being greedy though.
Changing the race from across country to laps around the same track for three stages was a mistake in my book too. One of the things I love about the original is that its across country. I can’t get enough of that. Smokey and the Bandit, Cannonball Run, the Gumball. Big wide open races are just FUN. If and when I watch the dodgy knock off, Death Racers, or this that’ll possibly be the only thing that I think they did better as its cross country.
And there’s a big fuck off truck in the middle made by the guards to outgun everyone. That was kinda ruining it for me for a while. I can see the results it gains were necessary but there might have been a better way to do it than a pretty stupid set piece. In fact most of the dirty on track tactics that the warden uses would probably have pissed me off at home if I was watching the Death Race show as they’re rather blatant and not as clever and nuanced as they should have been.
But we’re talking about Paul WS Anderson here so what do you expect really? This film is actually 12 times better than it should be with that monkey on it’s back. The dodgy Soldier, the TERRIBLE Resident Evil (I like the second one though, but had major issues with the first) and the massively wasted opportunity of AVP (“I’m a huge fan of both franchises.” Could have fooled me douchebag) means that I fear this guys output. I fear it a little less after this though. I guess every turd has a few peanuts…
HEY, I thought that last line was clever.
Next up: I Want Candy
Jason Statham is an honest working stiff who’s just been laid off. While home with his wife he’s knocked out and framed for her murder. He used to be a racing driver or something and he ends up in the main Death Race prison to replace the lead driver, Frankenstein, who died in his last race but wears a mask. If he wins, he can go free.
Okay, so first of it says the US economy has collapsed. Why the hell is Statham even there?! Eh, that’s a minor niggle.
For once I have actually seen the original Death Race 2000. And I love it. Even if you haven’t seen the film you’ll have either joked or heard someone joke about getting points for hitting a pedestrian while in a car. That’s where that comes from. And its what the Carmageddon games are based on. It’s a cheap ass 70’s Corman B-movie staring David Carradine and Sly Stallone in one of, if not his first, roles. And it’s a world gone man due to over population movie like many were in that period.
This I guess is corporations and reality TV gone nuts. But it doesn’t really have much of a social commentary angle to it. It’s just balls out action, which I’m perfectly fine with. And it’s something that Jason Statham does really well. He’s a good, if mumbly, hard man with a soft side actor. You know, punch 12 guys to death to save the little kitten who he loves and pets and calls George. In fact the cast in general here are good. It doesn’t suffer from dumb action = crap acting syndrome.
I do have some issues with it though. For a start, the stakes aren’t particularly high. It’s not trying to free a nation from a corrupt dictator like the original, its just some guys trying to get out of the nick from a corrupt warden. There isn’t really all that much weapon variety either. Everyone pretty much has guns, armour and some defensive do dads. We do see a little variety, but I’d have liked to have seen more in the background. That might just be me being greedy though.
Changing the race from across country to laps around the same track for three stages was a mistake in my book too. One of the things I love about the original is that its across country. I can’t get enough of that. Smokey and the Bandit, Cannonball Run, the Gumball. Big wide open races are just FUN. If and when I watch the dodgy knock off, Death Racers, or this that’ll possibly be the only thing that I think they did better as its cross country.
And there’s a big fuck off truck in the middle made by the guards to outgun everyone. That was kinda ruining it for me for a while. I can see the results it gains were necessary but there might have been a better way to do it than a pretty stupid set piece. In fact most of the dirty on track tactics that the warden uses would probably have pissed me off at home if I was watching the Death Race show as they’re rather blatant and not as clever and nuanced as they should have been.
But we’re talking about Paul WS Anderson here so what do you expect really? This film is actually 12 times better than it should be with that monkey on it’s back. The dodgy Soldier, the TERRIBLE Resident Evil (I like the second one though, but had major issues with the first) and the massively wasted opportunity of AVP (“I’m a huge fan of both franchises.” Could have fooled me douchebag) means that I fear this guys output. I fear it a little less after this though. I guess every turd has a few peanuts…
HEY, I thought that last line was clever.
Next up: I Want Candy
Tuesday, 12 January 2010
Movie 12: Where The Wild Things Are
Max is a, lets be nice and say precocious, young boy with a very vivid imagination. One night he dons his wolf suit and sees his mum with what I assume is a boyfriend before dinner. Max then acts out and is told to go to bed, when he bites his mum on the shoulder and runs off. He then finds a boat and sails off to the island Where The Wild Things Are.
The wild things are big kinda scary looking monsters that are actually kinda nice, if neurotic, and after Max spins a tale he becomes their king with the task of making everything on the island right again cause they’re sad and lonely.
First off, this isn’t really a kids movie. Kids won’t get it, there’s far too much cerebral stuff going on. Older ones might enjoy the general childish antics and the look of the monsters but they won’t get most of the rest of it. Second off, I have no connection to the original book. Never read it as a kid so it holds no place in my heart. The closest I’ve come to knowing anything about it is the Simpson’s episode where Lisa meets the monsters. As I understand it the book has a whopping 10 sentences of dialogue and I’m guessing its very short, so when it comes to an adaptation this is more original material than actual book.
I may be missing the point as the film seems to be getting rave reviews. I found it…what’s the word…meh? It’s good and all, the voice acting and characterisation is well done. And I guess the monsters being a bit of a mix of childish rough housing and acting out with adult neurosis thrown in is very clever. But it all comes together to be a big bag of nothing all that remarkable for me. And my guess is that Max is supposed to grow and learn from his adventure, you know like all these movies, but he doesn’t seem to. Not that he was a particularly bad kid at the start, just a bit too much sometimes.
Its also a fair bit of a downer too.
I do love the monster costumes though. They look a fair bit like Ludo from The Labyrinth, and understandably so as they were build by The Jim Henson Company. However in this case the faces had to be CGI’d in after as the heads were far too heavy for the actors. Understandable as Ludo’s head wasn’t really a headpiece, and his center of gravity was probably easier for the puppeteer.
In fact, your probably better off watching Labyrinth as it’s a better movie. Okay, that’s not exactly fair. I could do that every second review. What I would say is don’t watch Where The Wild Things Are if you want an hour and a half of crazy fun, or if your watching it with kids cause they’ll like it. But I can’t highly recommend it and I can’t say to avoid it. It’s good, just not great
Next Up: Death Race
The wild things are big kinda scary looking monsters that are actually kinda nice, if neurotic, and after Max spins a tale he becomes their king with the task of making everything on the island right again cause they’re sad and lonely.
First off, this isn’t really a kids movie. Kids won’t get it, there’s far too much cerebral stuff going on. Older ones might enjoy the general childish antics and the look of the monsters but they won’t get most of the rest of it. Second off, I have no connection to the original book. Never read it as a kid so it holds no place in my heart. The closest I’ve come to knowing anything about it is the Simpson’s episode where Lisa meets the monsters. As I understand it the book has a whopping 10 sentences of dialogue and I’m guessing its very short, so when it comes to an adaptation this is more original material than actual book.
I may be missing the point as the film seems to be getting rave reviews. I found it…what’s the word…meh? It’s good and all, the voice acting and characterisation is well done. And I guess the monsters being a bit of a mix of childish rough housing and acting out with adult neurosis thrown in is very clever. But it all comes together to be a big bag of nothing all that remarkable for me. And my guess is that Max is supposed to grow and learn from his adventure, you know like all these movies, but he doesn’t seem to. Not that he was a particularly bad kid at the start, just a bit too much sometimes.
Its also a fair bit of a downer too.
I do love the monster costumes though. They look a fair bit like Ludo from The Labyrinth, and understandably so as they were build by The Jim Henson Company. However in this case the faces had to be CGI’d in after as the heads were far too heavy for the actors. Understandable as Ludo’s head wasn’t really a headpiece, and his center of gravity was probably easier for the puppeteer.
In fact, your probably better off watching Labyrinth as it’s a better movie. Okay, that’s not exactly fair. I could do that every second review. What I would say is don’t watch Where The Wild Things Are if you want an hour and a half of crazy fun, or if your watching it with kids cause they’ll like it. But I can’t highly recommend it and I can’t say to avoid it. It’s good, just not great
Next Up: Death Race
Monday, 11 January 2010
Movie 11: The Taking of Pelham 123
Walter Garber (Denzel Washington) is a subway dispatcher in NY who’s life is a bit of a mess, but today was going fine. Fine until Ryder (John Travolta) and his crew hijack a train, uncouple the first car and hold the passengers hostage for $10 million. Garber is the controller for this train so gets stuck in the middle as Ryder will only talk to him and not the cops.
So a standard thriller type thing. And a remake to boot. I haven’t seen the original with Walter Matthau so I can’t compare. It’s getting a bit sad that I say that every time something is a remake isn’t it? Honestly I watch movies in foreign with the words you have to read and that. And old ones where everyone dresses badly and sometimes its not in colour like! It just so happens I haven’t seen the couple that have cropped up in the first eleven.
That’s a football reference isn’t it? Not sure, I’m barely a boy.
My viewing of this movie may have suffered a little as I had lunch, took a shower and went off to do the shopping at various points (I hit pause though). I don’t think it made much of a difference though. Denzel plays a realistic subway guy, JT plays that charismatic criminal type he plays a lot at the moment (see Swordfish for example) and the supporting cast are all good too. Regardless of the little dig, James Gandolfini appears to be playing Gullianiburg and combing the last two mayors of New York. All well and good.
And this is essentially a character piece. Decent thrillers and quite clever plot though nothing new (even ignoring the remake factor) or all that surprising. A big part of the movie is really just Denzel and JT’s characters interacting, probably the best bit, over the radio. Which is where my biggest beef with the movie comes from. Director Tony Scott needs to lay off the coffee and pixie sticks, or stop using a 3 year old who ran out of Ritalin as a DP. SOMETHING. The camera doesn’t HAVE to move all the bloody time! There no need to spin around the mayor and his aides talking about whether to take a car or the train! The ONLY reason for doing that is to make your audience feel like they’re on the waltzers or in a washing machine. FUCKING STOP IT!
So you know, okay movie with a hyperactive camera that detracts from it. Take note directors, there is nothing wrong with pointing a camera at actors and leaving it for 30 seconds. If you do that it means that when you move it it sticks out more and MEANS something.
Next up: Where The Wild Things Are
So a standard thriller type thing. And a remake to boot. I haven’t seen the original with Walter Matthau so I can’t compare. It’s getting a bit sad that I say that every time something is a remake isn’t it? Honestly I watch movies in foreign with the words you have to read and that. And old ones where everyone dresses badly and sometimes its not in colour like! It just so happens I haven’t seen the couple that have cropped up in the first eleven.
That’s a football reference isn’t it? Not sure, I’m barely a boy.
My viewing of this movie may have suffered a little as I had lunch, took a shower and went off to do the shopping at various points (I hit pause though). I don’t think it made much of a difference though. Denzel plays a realistic subway guy, JT plays that charismatic criminal type he plays a lot at the moment (see Swordfish for example) and the supporting cast are all good too. Regardless of the little dig, James Gandolfini appears to be playing Gullianiburg and combing the last two mayors of New York. All well and good.
And this is essentially a character piece. Decent thrillers and quite clever plot though nothing new (even ignoring the remake factor) or all that surprising. A big part of the movie is really just Denzel and JT’s characters interacting, probably the best bit, over the radio. Which is where my biggest beef with the movie comes from. Director Tony Scott needs to lay off the coffee and pixie sticks, or stop using a 3 year old who ran out of Ritalin as a DP. SOMETHING. The camera doesn’t HAVE to move all the bloody time! There no need to spin around the mayor and his aides talking about whether to take a car or the train! The ONLY reason for doing that is to make your audience feel like they’re on the waltzers or in a washing machine. FUCKING STOP IT!
So you know, okay movie with a hyperactive camera that detracts from it. Take note directors, there is nothing wrong with pointing a camera at actors and leaving it for 30 seconds. If you do that it means that when you move it it sticks out more and MEANS something.
Next up: Where The Wild Things Are
Sunday, 10 January 2010
Movie 10: Quarantine
A reporter and her cameraman are doing a piece on fire fighters. When a call out finally comes (it’s only about 10 or 15 mins build up) it seems routine. Some people in an apartment building hear some screaming from an old woman’s apartment and the cops have called the FD to come and knock the door down. When they get in the woman looks kinda rabid (no one says anything about it in the film really) and then acts a fair bit like a rage zombie (with a “what the fuck?” type reaction. No one in movies watches movies!). One of the cops is badly bitten and they get him out while one of the firemen restrains the woman. A few minutes later the fireman plummets to the lobby three floors below. Then it gets worse….
This is a remake of the Spanish (I think) film REC. I can’t do a little circle before that. I haven’t seen REC but I didn’t deliberately skip to the remake. I’ve actually wanted to see REC for quite a while and didn’t remember this WAS a remake till I got a little in. Occasionally I’ll see remakes or the cheap knock offs of movies before the movies they’re cashing in on. For example, at some point in the probably not too distant I’ll be watching “Journey to the Centre of the Earth” with Brendan Fraser. I’ve already seen “Journey to the Centre of the Earth (or to Middle Earth as it’s known over here) with Greg “the bearded dad from My Two Dads” Evigan. Cause that’s the order I ended up getting them from Love Film.
ANYWHO, initially I found this film a little dull. It takes a wee bit to get going and felt pretty hum drum. Performances were fine, the firemen were entertaining enough, but nothing special. The build up is necessary though as this is a horror movie and we need to give a shit about these people before they die horrible horrible deaths. And when the film gets going it’s actually not all that bad, good even. I’m glad it was a home watch as I haven’t braved a shaky cam movie (this is all from the camera man, or the floor sometimes, perspective and he hasn’t got a steady cam) in the cinema yet. I can handle it on a TV or monitor, but probably not on a 40 foot screen.
Like I said the performances are fine. There’s a few “oh it’s that dude”s in it but no one I can name. I think the main woman is in Dexter but I’ve yet to watch it. And Alan’s ex from Two and a Half Men is in there too. Strangely the immigration guy from The Proposal also crops up, so movie linkage continuity for once! Annoyingly the main woman completely loses it for the last…….half hour maybe. And screams. A lot. Far too bloody much. I can’t be arsed with someone screaming and crying and wailing in to the camera for a lengthy period as it starts to kill the thing for me. I stop caring after the first 5 minutes. We get it, your scared. Sack up woman, you’re a reporter.
There’s a couple of interesting deaths, some tension and its pretty well paced. They pull out quite a few stops too, things like someone getting beat to death with the camera we’re watching through. But its not a masterpiece. Maybe check out REC first as its supposed to be amazing (and maybe it’ll be movie 127 or something)
Next up: The Taking of Pelham 123
This is a remake of the Spanish (I think) film REC. I can’t do a little circle before that. I haven’t seen REC but I didn’t deliberately skip to the remake. I’ve actually wanted to see REC for quite a while and didn’t remember this WAS a remake till I got a little in. Occasionally I’ll see remakes or the cheap knock offs of movies before the movies they’re cashing in on. For example, at some point in the probably not too distant I’ll be watching “Journey to the Centre of the Earth” with Brendan Fraser. I’ve already seen “Journey to the Centre of the Earth (or to Middle Earth as it’s known over here) with Greg “the bearded dad from My Two Dads” Evigan. Cause that’s the order I ended up getting them from Love Film.
ANYWHO, initially I found this film a little dull. It takes a wee bit to get going and felt pretty hum drum. Performances were fine, the firemen were entertaining enough, but nothing special. The build up is necessary though as this is a horror movie and we need to give a shit about these people before they die horrible horrible deaths. And when the film gets going it’s actually not all that bad, good even. I’m glad it was a home watch as I haven’t braved a shaky cam movie (this is all from the camera man, or the floor sometimes, perspective and he hasn’t got a steady cam) in the cinema yet. I can handle it on a TV or monitor, but probably not on a 40 foot screen.
Like I said the performances are fine. There’s a few “oh it’s that dude”s in it but no one I can name. I think the main woman is in Dexter but I’ve yet to watch it. And Alan’s ex from Two and a Half Men is in there too. Strangely the immigration guy from The Proposal also crops up, so movie linkage continuity for once! Annoyingly the main woman completely loses it for the last…….half hour maybe. And screams. A lot. Far too bloody much. I can’t be arsed with someone screaming and crying and wailing in to the camera for a lengthy period as it starts to kill the thing for me. I stop caring after the first 5 minutes. We get it, your scared. Sack up woman, you’re a reporter.
There’s a couple of interesting deaths, some tension and its pretty well paced. They pull out quite a few stops too, things like someone getting beat to death with the camera we’re watching through. But its not a masterpiece. Maybe check out REC first as its supposed to be amazing (and maybe it’ll be movie 127 or something)
Next up: The Taking of Pelham 123
Saturday, 9 January 2010
Movie 9: The Proposal
Sandra Bullock plays a high powered executive in a publishing firm, a true bitch on wheels. Ryan Reynolds is her beleaguered assistant who works his ass off in the hopes of becoming an editor. Bullock’s character is Canadian, and she’s about to be deported as her Visa has just expired (how she got to be at the top in a publishing firm on a Visa I dunno). So to stay in the country and not lose her job she bullies Reynolds in to marrying her. To sell the story to an immigration official he takes her home for his gran’s 90th birthday. Hilarity doth ensue.
Kinda
Let me get this out of the way at the start. I am not a fan of Sandra Bullock. I’ve sort of liked her in a couple of movies, genuinely liked and was surprised by her in one (28 Days btw, shut up I liked it). But 90% of the time I think she’s a craptacular actress. She doesn’t come across as genuinely tough, doesn’t show any believable emotion for the majority of the time in her rom coms, and isn’t funny in the least. I will say that talent shines through in moments in pretty much everything she’s in, which makes it all the worse in my book. You can do it sometimes Sandra, do it ALL the time…
Ryan Reynolds on the other hand I pretty much always like. He hardly shines here, but he is good. And it’s all in little nuanced reactions and facial expressions. This guy CAN do funny, very well. And actual acting too. This is no doubt a bit of a pay check picture for him. I expected to say that he was the one good thing in this but that’s not quite true.
Betty White is the one other good thing (that’s not true either but it’s a nice segue. And she isn’t a good thing all the time but that’s more script than Betty). Pretty much since the time of the Golden Girls I’ve associated Betty White with my own Gran. She’s always playing these kinda ditzy sweet old lady type characters. Okay, so my Gran isn’t exactly like that but I always see a bit of her in White’s performances. Which means that she’s obviously going to resonate quite strongly with me. No exception here. And for your fun “aw, ain’t Betty White sweet” moment, she nearly turned the film down cause she didn’t want to be away from her dog for 10 weeks. Awwww, Granny….
CGI Alaska looks pretty too. And actual Boston / North Shore looks very pretty. The Proposal is perfect for you if you like pretty scenery, minor laughs, Betty White and absolutely no surprises. Because there are none at all. After you’ve seen a character for 3 seconds you know they’re whole arc. And the ending can be spotted from the trailers for other movies that go before the film. I literally saw two ways they COULD go. They do BOTH. Really no hurry to see this for anyone.
Next up: Quarantine
Kinda
Let me get this out of the way at the start. I am not a fan of Sandra Bullock. I’ve sort of liked her in a couple of movies, genuinely liked and was surprised by her in one (28 Days btw, shut up I liked it). But 90% of the time I think she’s a craptacular actress. She doesn’t come across as genuinely tough, doesn’t show any believable emotion for the majority of the time in her rom coms, and isn’t funny in the least. I will say that talent shines through in moments in pretty much everything she’s in, which makes it all the worse in my book. You can do it sometimes Sandra, do it ALL the time…
Ryan Reynolds on the other hand I pretty much always like. He hardly shines here, but he is good. And it’s all in little nuanced reactions and facial expressions. This guy CAN do funny, very well. And actual acting too. This is no doubt a bit of a pay check picture for him. I expected to say that he was the one good thing in this but that’s not quite true.
Betty White is the one other good thing (that’s not true either but it’s a nice segue. And she isn’t a good thing all the time but that’s more script than Betty). Pretty much since the time of the Golden Girls I’ve associated Betty White with my own Gran. She’s always playing these kinda ditzy sweet old lady type characters. Okay, so my Gran isn’t exactly like that but I always see a bit of her in White’s performances. Which means that she’s obviously going to resonate quite strongly with me. No exception here. And for your fun “aw, ain’t Betty White sweet” moment, she nearly turned the film down cause she didn’t want to be away from her dog for 10 weeks. Awwww, Granny….
CGI Alaska looks pretty too. And actual Boston / North Shore looks very pretty. The Proposal is perfect for you if you like pretty scenery, minor laughs, Betty White and absolutely no surprises. Because there are none at all. After you’ve seen a character for 3 seconds you know they’re whole arc. And the ending can be spotted from the trailers for other movies that go before the film. I literally saw two ways they COULD go. They do BOTH. Really no hurry to see this for anyone.
Next up: Quarantine
Friday, 8 January 2010
Movie 8: The Forbidden Kingdom
A teenage boy who’s obsessed with Kung Fu movies spots this kick ass staff through a door in the shop where he gets his DVDs, and the old Chinese guy who owns it says something about a legend. He’s waiting for a man to come for the staff and take it to its rightful owner, as did his grandfather before him. So the kids on his way home where he gets picked on by some Guido bullies. They then bully him to take him to the old mans store so they can rob it that night.
And then the shoot the guy. He gives the kid the staff and he runs off, to be stopped on the roof. The staff then chucks him off the roof and into ancient China. It’s the staff of the monkey king who’s been….oh blah blah blah.
Frankly the plots kinda arse. In fact the whole film is a rather long hour and 40 minutes, which really isn’t that long. It sort of The Karate Kid meets Turtles 3, but not really as good as either of them. And the Monkey thing has always kind of irked me for some reason.
Don’t get me wrong, I LIKE old kung fu movies. Not Bruce Lee, he’s too damned untouchable for my liking. Jackie Chan. He gets beat the crap out of before coming back at the end. Like an Asian Bruce Willis. And there are reasons to watch this movie, or at least skip through it.
Jackie is a drunken master in this one. If you’ve seen the Drunken Master movies you know why that’s pretty kick ass. Also, it’s the first time that he and Jet Li have been in a movie together. That’s the Kung Fu equivalent of Sly and Arnie teaming up for a flick. And as any Marvel comics fan knows, when two heroes bump in to each other they have to fight before realising they’re on the same side. The fight is a good ten minutes long, looong takes cause its two guys who know what they’re doing. It’s great. Just skip to it, then skip to the end and you’ve seen a good 30 minute movie without some shaky dialogue and wonkaloid plot.
The action is choreographed by Woo-ping Yuen. If you’ve heard of any fight choreographer it’s that dude. If you don’t know the name, you’ve seen The Matrix. Or Kill Bill. Or Kung Fu Hustle. The guy does great action, though sometimes a bit heavy on the wires.
So those are the reasons to see this. Unfortunately it felt to me like the makers also skipped to the end a bit as Daniel San, can’t remember the characters name…JASON! Literally finished watching it 10 minutes ago. Anyway, he goes from having a few minor skills to being all Neo and kicking some major ass once it won’t ruin the plot. That’s a big flaw in my book as the great thing about those old films was the training. That wax on, wax off stuff is ground in a lot of old movies for good reason. Montage away, but don’t just skip it guys. Bit crap, some great action. Nuff said.
Next Up: The Proposal
And then the shoot the guy. He gives the kid the staff and he runs off, to be stopped on the roof. The staff then chucks him off the roof and into ancient China. It’s the staff of the monkey king who’s been….oh blah blah blah.
Frankly the plots kinda arse. In fact the whole film is a rather long hour and 40 minutes, which really isn’t that long. It sort of The Karate Kid meets Turtles 3, but not really as good as either of them. And the Monkey thing has always kind of irked me for some reason.
Don’t get me wrong, I LIKE old kung fu movies. Not Bruce Lee, he’s too damned untouchable for my liking. Jackie Chan. He gets beat the crap out of before coming back at the end. Like an Asian Bruce Willis. And there are reasons to watch this movie, or at least skip through it.
Jackie is a drunken master in this one. If you’ve seen the Drunken Master movies you know why that’s pretty kick ass. Also, it’s the first time that he and Jet Li have been in a movie together. That’s the Kung Fu equivalent of Sly and Arnie teaming up for a flick. And as any Marvel comics fan knows, when two heroes bump in to each other they have to fight before realising they’re on the same side. The fight is a good ten minutes long, looong takes cause its two guys who know what they’re doing. It’s great. Just skip to it, then skip to the end and you’ve seen a good 30 minute movie without some shaky dialogue and wonkaloid plot.
The action is choreographed by Woo-ping Yuen. If you’ve heard of any fight choreographer it’s that dude. If you don’t know the name, you’ve seen The Matrix. Or Kill Bill. Or Kung Fu Hustle. The guy does great action, though sometimes a bit heavy on the wires.
So those are the reasons to see this. Unfortunately it felt to me like the makers also skipped to the end a bit as Daniel San, can’t remember the characters name…JASON! Literally finished watching it 10 minutes ago. Anyway, he goes from having a few minor skills to being all Neo and kicking some major ass once it won’t ruin the plot. That’s a big flaw in my book as the great thing about those old films was the training. That wax on, wax off stuff is ground in a lot of old movies for good reason. Montage away, but don’t just skip it guys. Bit crap, some great action. Nuff said.
Next Up: The Proposal
Thursday, 7 January 2010
Movie 7: Freebird
Three biker mates head off to Wales to buy some wild grown weed from a hippy in the woods. And to get wasted and have a bit of a laugh, cause they’re bikers. Unbeknownst (big word!) to them a small war is brewing between the Wessex Men and the locals over the death of one of the Wessex boys a few years ago and our “heroes” are caught in the middle.
Kinda. The main part of the movie is really about the 3 guys. And its great stuff, not just because they spend the last half of the movie off their tits on mushrooms. While this is a black comedy, containing adult themes and drug use, it’s more comedy than black really. And has a small thread of drama running through the middle as the guys contemplate their futures.
My mums a biker, itching for the rallies to start up again right now, so I’ve met a fair few in the last couple of years. While the ones that I know aren’t quite as rough as Grouch, Tyg and Fred those guys would probably fit right in. Grouch is the permanently fucked up guy who provides many of the early laughs, Tyg is a bit of a head case and Fred is as close to sensible as your going to get here. And there’s a bunch of weird Welsh bastards (including a gimp) to round things out along with the Wessex boys who are a bit boring really
This is a tiny wee movie from what I can tell so it might not be all that easy to get a hold off everywhere. But it is out on DVD and is worth picking up. If only because watching and buying movies like this helps out the lower level of the industry, which leads to more interesting movies like this. And that can’t hurt. Plus it might lead to work for me ;)
Next up: The Forbidden Kingdom
Kinda. The main part of the movie is really about the 3 guys. And its great stuff, not just because they spend the last half of the movie off their tits on mushrooms. While this is a black comedy, containing adult themes and drug use, it’s more comedy than black really. And has a small thread of drama running through the middle as the guys contemplate their futures.
My mums a biker, itching for the rallies to start up again right now, so I’ve met a fair few in the last couple of years. While the ones that I know aren’t quite as rough as Grouch, Tyg and Fred those guys would probably fit right in. Grouch is the permanently fucked up guy who provides many of the early laughs, Tyg is a bit of a head case and Fred is as close to sensible as your going to get here. And there’s a bunch of weird Welsh bastards (including a gimp) to round things out along with the Wessex boys who are a bit boring really
This is a tiny wee movie from what I can tell so it might not be all that easy to get a hold off everywhere. But it is out on DVD and is worth picking up. If only because watching and buying movies like this helps out the lower level of the industry, which leads to more interesting movies like this. And that can’t hurt. Plus it might lead to work for me ;)
Next up: The Forbidden Kingdom
Wednesday, 6 January 2010
Movie 6: Surrogates
THE FUTURE! Okay they don’t do that, cleverly it shows the progression that leads to the films setting. Cybernetic technology advances to the point where realistic looking humans can be made, with a full suite of sense, on the private market. Something like 90% of people use these Surrogates instead of walking around in their meat bags like wot we do now. No risk of disease or accidental death and you get to look however you want so everyone is pretty. Some people don’t want to live in the future equivalent of an MMO so they have set up areas in major cities for what is basically a glorified Amish. Everything is hunky dory until 2 people are murdered THROUGH their Surrogates, something that shouldn’t be able to happen. So Bruce Willis sets out to find out what the deal is.
And this being a Bruce Willis movie his Surrogate gets all fucked up about half an hour in so he has to walk about meat bag style and get all scratched and bloody and what not.
The world of Surrogates is very well thought out. Little touches like someone not being there for 30 seconds cause they were in the can (your body doesn’t stop just cause your plugged in) and the fact that the real world, well it’s all real world, the real bodies of people are a bit emaciated and rough looking cause they’re basically doing nothing all the time and not eating right help to make it feel like a solid world. It is a little hard to believe that people’s attitudes would change so dramatically in 15 years though. At least to the extent that’s shown in the film. Half the characters would have grown up in a world without Surrogates and the sophisticated level that the latest generation has would only have been around for what, 5 years? I’ll let them off with that though
And the plot itself is a pretty basic thriller type plot. But I can let them off with that too as they weren’t lazy with the setting. As long as its done well a plot can be less than original. This does have the odd twist in it though.
Some of the sub plotting felt a bit glossed over to me and could have been explored more (it’s not a very long movie) and the ending has quite a few holes in it that make it feel less worked on. It’s like the writers (think it was based on a comic actually) got wrapped up in make a cool world and forgot to make a realistic conclusion. Don’t want to give anything away though as it is a good watch.
Go check it out if its your bag. It’s Bruce Willis, he’s always good.
Next up: Freebird. Bet you’ve never heard of that one ;)
And this being a Bruce Willis movie his Surrogate gets all fucked up about half an hour in so he has to walk about meat bag style and get all scratched and bloody and what not.
The world of Surrogates is very well thought out. Little touches like someone not being there for 30 seconds cause they were in the can (your body doesn’t stop just cause your plugged in) and the fact that the real world, well it’s all real world, the real bodies of people are a bit emaciated and rough looking cause they’re basically doing nothing all the time and not eating right help to make it feel like a solid world. It is a little hard to believe that people’s attitudes would change so dramatically in 15 years though. At least to the extent that’s shown in the film. Half the characters would have grown up in a world without Surrogates and the sophisticated level that the latest generation has would only have been around for what, 5 years? I’ll let them off with that though
And the plot itself is a pretty basic thriller type plot. But I can let them off with that too as they weren’t lazy with the setting. As long as its done well a plot can be less than original. This does have the odd twist in it though.
Some of the sub plotting felt a bit glossed over to me and could have been explored more (it’s not a very long movie) and the ending has quite a few holes in it that make it feel less worked on. It’s like the writers (think it was based on a comic actually) got wrapped up in make a cool world and forgot to make a realistic conclusion. Don’t want to give anything away though as it is a good watch.
Go check it out if its your bag. It’s Bruce Willis, he’s always good.
Next up: Freebird. Bet you’ve never heard of that one ;)
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
Movie 5: The Love Guru
Guru Pitka is an American who was raised in India and trained to be a guru under Guru Tugginmapudda (yup, there’s a lot of that). He comes to America with the dream of becoming the number 1 guru, where he finds himself number 2 behind Deepak Chopra. Bizarrely my MS Word spell checked has Deepak Chopra in it. To gain the number 1 position he needs to get on Oprah and an opportunity to do just that arrives when the Toronto Maple Leafs star player has love trouble that wreaks his game. Can Guru Pitka cure his love troubles and get that spot on Oprah, while also achieving self love so he can remove his chastity belt and presumably bone Jessica Alba?
Well obviously. We’re not talking rocket science here it’s a comedy full of boner jokes.
Remember when Mike Meyers was funny? Like really funny? Wayne’s World and the first Austin Powers funny? Well this isn’t a return to that. BUT it isn’t horrendously bad either. It doesn’t quite suffer from the “okay we get it, stop the joke now. Oh it’s going on for another 3 minutes? Yeah its not funny anymore” that I personally think plagued the later Powers movies and modern day SNL from what I’ve seen. Once or twice, but most of the time the movies just vaguely entertaining.
There’s a few moments that did make me laugh, but it is just a few. The Love Guru isn’t a terribly character but he’s far from a classic that I’d want to see over a number of movies. It was good to see some Daily Show alumni, namely John Oliver who’s occasionally funny and Stephen Colbert who is (eventually) fantastic. I actually think the biggest waste in this movie is that Colbert’s drugged out commentator wasn’t used a bit more. It’s not an original idea, having sports commentators say wildly inappropriate things, but he got to a very good place with it.
And the hockey ain’t bad neither, though there’s various errors with that. Looked good though so who cares.
So maybe a shitty day outside, it’s on TV and the remote is juuuuuuuust out of arms reach view. Nothing special, but not terrible. Ironically it references the Bohemian Rhapsody moment from Wayne’s World which just highlights how much Meyers must have lost it as that movie was quotable as hell and this….isn’t.
Next up: Surrogates
Well obviously. We’re not talking rocket science here it’s a comedy full of boner jokes.
Remember when Mike Meyers was funny? Like really funny? Wayne’s World and the first Austin Powers funny? Well this isn’t a return to that. BUT it isn’t horrendously bad either. It doesn’t quite suffer from the “okay we get it, stop the joke now. Oh it’s going on for another 3 minutes? Yeah its not funny anymore” that I personally think plagued the later Powers movies and modern day SNL from what I’ve seen. Once or twice, but most of the time the movies just vaguely entertaining.
There’s a few moments that did make me laugh, but it is just a few. The Love Guru isn’t a terribly character but he’s far from a classic that I’d want to see over a number of movies. It was good to see some Daily Show alumni, namely John Oliver who’s occasionally funny and Stephen Colbert who is (eventually) fantastic. I actually think the biggest waste in this movie is that Colbert’s drugged out commentator wasn’t used a bit more. It’s not an original idea, having sports commentators say wildly inappropriate things, but he got to a very good place with it.
And the hockey ain’t bad neither, though there’s various errors with that. Looked good though so who cares.
So maybe a shitty day outside, it’s on TV and the remote is juuuuuuuust out of arms reach view. Nothing special, but not terrible. Ironically it references the Bohemian Rhapsody moment from Wayne’s World which just highlights how much Meyers must have lost it as that movie was quotable as hell and this….isn’t.
Next up: Surrogates
Monday, 4 January 2010
Movie 4: District 9
Ross County 2. I promise I’ll try and not make a bad football score joke every time that I review a film with a number in the title.
Anyway, plot.
So an alien ship arrives on Earth and settles over Johannesburg. After a few years the ship is broken in to and around a million malnourished aliens are found on board. They are relocated to a government camp below the ship that subsequently becomes a slum. 20 years later MNU, a government contractor I believe, are tasked with moving the problematic Prawns (the name given to the aliens cause they look kinda like prawns). The film initially follows the man in charge of this operation, Wikus Van De Merwe, in a documentary style. Things go a bit pear shaped and Wikus (pronounced Vik-as) is exposed to an alien liquid that starts to change him.
The Prawns weapon technology can only be operated by a Prawn, Stargate Ancient tech style, and the changing Wikus. This makes him a very valuable man and causes him to go on the run where he starts to sympathise with the Prawns.
And hopefully that’s not too spoilerly. The film is a very heavy handed analogy to apartheid, but that’s fine. When I say heavy handed I don’t mean that it’s badly done, just as bloody obvious as V (the original) being about Nazis and not lizard aliens. You can also see that it benefits from some pre-production on the Halo movie that never happened as there are some similarities in the look of the picture.
I actually remember seeing the original short film, Alive in Joburg, on You Tube (have a hunt, pretty sure it was there) and hoping it would get a longer treatment. When Halo fell through Peter Jackson gave director Neill Blomkamp $30 million and said “go do whatever you want”. And its great that he did.
The effects in this movie are fantastic. The Prawns fit in with their surroundings perfectly and are very, well not human but you know what I mean. One niggle is that you seem to be able to see pretty much the whole of their mothership from wherever the camera happens to be but that’s pretty common. But it isn’t just another wham bam sci-fi movie. It’s very well characterised and written as well. Like Wikus you’ll find yourself caring for the Prawns, or at least main smart Prawn Christopher Johnson. While they aren’t all humanised, most just seem like semi intelligent animals, comparisons to Alien Nation would be easy to make too.
I hope to hell they make a District 10 as I’d really like to see what happens next
Up Next: The Love Guru (yeah I’m dreading that one a bit)
Anyway, plot.
So an alien ship arrives on Earth and settles over Johannesburg. After a few years the ship is broken in to and around a million malnourished aliens are found on board. They are relocated to a government camp below the ship that subsequently becomes a slum. 20 years later MNU, a government contractor I believe, are tasked with moving the problematic Prawns (the name given to the aliens cause they look kinda like prawns). The film initially follows the man in charge of this operation, Wikus Van De Merwe, in a documentary style. Things go a bit pear shaped and Wikus (pronounced Vik-as) is exposed to an alien liquid that starts to change him.
The Prawns weapon technology can only be operated by a Prawn, Stargate Ancient tech style, and the changing Wikus. This makes him a very valuable man and causes him to go on the run where he starts to sympathise with the Prawns.
And hopefully that’s not too spoilerly. The film is a very heavy handed analogy to apartheid, but that’s fine. When I say heavy handed I don’t mean that it’s badly done, just as bloody obvious as V (the original) being about Nazis and not lizard aliens. You can also see that it benefits from some pre-production on the Halo movie that never happened as there are some similarities in the look of the picture.
I actually remember seeing the original short film, Alive in Joburg, on You Tube (have a hunt, pretty sure it was there) and hoping it would get a longer treatment. When Halo fell through Peter Jackson gave director Neill Blomkamp $30 million and said “go do whatever you want”. And its great that he did.
The effects in this movie are fantastic. The Prawns fit in with their surroundings perfectly and are very, well not human but you know what I mean. One niggle is that you seem to be able to see pretty much the whole of their mothership from wherever the camera happens to be but that’s pretty common. But it isn’t just another wham bam sci-fi movie. It’s very well characterised and written as well. Like Wikus you’ll find yourself caring for the Prawns, or at least main smart Prawn Christopher Johnson. While they aren’t all humanised, most just seem like semi intelligent animals, comparisons to Alien Nation would be easy to make too.
I hope to hell they make a District 10 as I’d really like to see what happens next
Up Next: The Love Guru (yeah I’m dreading that one a bit)
Sunday, 3 January 2010
Movie 3: Igor
When the land of Malaria is plagued by storm clouds, King Malbert comes up with the idea of becoming a land of evil scientists and holding the world to ransom to keep the economy up. Anyone with a hunchback is part of a second class of citizens, the Igors, who act as assistants for the various evil scientists. One Igor has a dream to become a scientist himself, and when his boss is killed due to general incompetence he has his shot by creating life. Unfortunately his creation isn’t evil, and when he tries to have her brainwashed Clockwork Orange style the channel is switched turning her in to an actress. What is an Igor to do?
Well, an Igor will try and make her evil while being plagued by Eddie Izzards Dr Shaudenfraud. The idea of Igors being a group of people isn’t a new one by any means. Discworld is a big example of this. In fact you can spot a lot of this movie coming from a mile away. And the first half can be a bit on the meh side. This is bolstered up somewhat by two of Igor’s earlier inventions, Scamper the immortal and suicidal rabbit voiced by Steve Buscemi and Brain voiced by the extremely gay guy from Will and Grace. More Scamper than Brain really, though the later comes in to his own with the rest of the movie in it’s second half.
The animation style was pretty reminiscent of Henry Selick’s animation (see Movie 1) and it looks like the 3D cartoon that Tim Burton didn’t make. Doesn’t quite play that way, though there is a steam punky and gothy atmosphere to the whole thing. Some of the humour is quite twisted in a way that I really enjoyed. There’s nothing like a giant ophan Annie smashing stuff up.
It’s hardly Oscar winning stuff, but it is very enjoyable. Dunno how much kids will get out of it, maybe the just double digit ones, as it doesn’t really go for any gross humour that you’d probably expect from the set up and that certainly could have been half the movie. Personally I’m glad that wasn’t the case though. Well worth a look on a rainy afternoon.
Next up: District 9
Well, an Igor will try and make her evil while being plagued by Eddie Izzards Dr Shaudenfraud. The idea of Igors being a group of people isn’t a new one by any means. Discworld is a big example of this. In fact you can spot a lot of this movie coming from a mile away. And the first half can be a bit on the meh side. This is bolstered up somewhat by two of Igor’s earlier inventions, Scamper the immortal and suicidal rabbit voiced by Steve Buscemi and Brain voiced by the extremely gay guy from Will and Grace. More Scamper than Brain really, though the later comes in to his own with the rest of the movie in it’s second half.
The animation style was pretty reminiscent of Henry Selick’s animation (see Movie 1) and it looks like the 3D cartoon that Tim Burton didn’t make. Doesn’t quite play that way, though there is a steam punky and gothy atmosphere to the whole thing. Some of the humour is quite twisted in a way that I really enjoyed. There’s nothing like a giant ophan Annie smashing stuff up.
It’s hardly Oscar winning stuff, but it is very enjoyable. Dunno how much kids will get out of it, maybe the just double digit ones, as it doesn’t really go for any gross humour that you’d probably expect from the set up and that certainly could have been half the movie. Personally I’m glad that wasn’t the case though. Well worth a look on a rainy afternoon.
Next up: District 9
Saturday, 2 January 2010
Movie 2: Duplicity
Okay, I’m gonna cheat and copy the blurb from Flixster. Here’s how they describe it:
CIA officer Claire Stenwick and MI6 agent Ray Koval have left the world of government intelligence to cash in on the highly profitable cold war raging between two rival multinational corporations. Their mission? Secure the formula for a product that will bring a fortune to the company that patents it first. For their employers--industry titan Howard Tully and buccaneer CEO Dick Garsik--nothing is out of bounds. But as the stakes rise, the mystery deepens and the tactics get dirtier, the trickiest secret for Claire and Ray is their growing attraction. And as they each try to stay one double-cross ahead, two career loners find their schemes endangered by the only thing they can't cheat their way out of: love.
Yeah, so anyway. It’s kind of a half assed Ocean’s Eleven style heist set in the world of corporate espionage. Full of twists, turns, double crosses, you get the idea. And it’s no where near as smart as it thinks it is. There’s plot gaps that I found a bit annoying and I have trouble getting excited about the business world at the best of times.
It does have its moments though. The odd laugh here and there, some decent performances, it’s not a terrible way to spend 2 hours of your life. But there are better ways. A couple of episodes of Burn Notice for example. I’ve never been a huge Julia Roberts fan but thankfully in this she isn’t supposed to be some amazingly beautiful woman that men swoon over so I could buy her in the role. Her characters repeated testing of Clive Owen’s characters loyalty and trustworthiness is annoying though and would cause me to run for the hills. And Clive Owen is Clive Owen as always. Paul Giamatti never sucks, and he continues that run of not sucking in a relatively small roll here.
So yes it’s kinda clever, it’s relatively entertaining, but nowt special.
Next up: Igor
CIA officer Claire Stenwick and MI6 agent Ray Koval have left the world of government intelligence to cash in on the highly profitable cold war raging between two rival multinational corporations. Their mission? Secure the formula for a product that will bring a fortune to the company that patents it first. For their employers--industry titan Howard Tully and buccaneer CEO Dick Garsik--nothing is out of bounds. But as the stakes rise, the mystery deepens and the tactics get dirtier, the trickiest secret for Claire and Ray is their growing attraction. And as they each try to stay one double-cross ahead, two career loners find their schemes endangered by the only thing they can't cheat their way out of: love.
Yeah, so anyway. It’s kind of a half assed Ocean’s Eleven style heist set in the world of corporate espionage. Full of twists, turns, double crosses, you get the idea. And it’s no where near as smart as it thinks it is. There’s plot gaps that I found a bit annoying and I have trouble getting excited about the business world at the best of times.
It does have its moments though. The odd laugh here and there, some decent performances, it’s not a terrible way to spend 2 hours of your life. But there are better ways. A couple of episodes of Burn Notice for example. I’ve never been a huge Julia Roberts fan but thankfully in this she isn’t supposed to be some amazingly beautiful woman that men swoon over so I could buy her in the role. Her characters repeated testing of Clive Owen’s characters loyalty and trustworthiness is annoying though and would cause me to run for the hills. And Clive Owen is Clive Owen as always. Paul Giamatti never sucks, and he continues that run of not sucking in a relatively small roll here.
So yes it’s kinda clever, it’s relatively entertaining, but nowt special.
Next up: Igor
Friday, 1 January 2010
Movie 1: Coraline
Coraline Jones and her family move to a house that’s split in to three and filled with eccentric characters. Her parents are busy working on a gardening catalogue and have no time for her, never listening. Her dad gives her some busy work “counting windows or something, ANYTHING” to keep her out of his hair. During her travels around the house she finds a mysterious small door that’s been papered over and is locked. After some bugging, Coraline’s mother finds the key and she opens the door….to find bricks.
That night she follows a kangaroo mouse (I think that’s what they’re called) and finds that the bricks are gone, replaced with a tunnel that leads to another version of her house. There she meets her ‘Other’ Mother and alternative versions of everyone from her house who have buttons for eyes. Everyone there has time for Coraline, and she can have anything she wants. Everything seems amazing and wonderful. Until it isn’t.
Obviously I don’t want to give the whole plot away. The film is based on a novel by Neil Gaiman so if you know his work you know what to expect, weird and wonderful. I haven’t read the original book but I do read his blog and know that there are some changes to plot and an additional character. And it’s animated by Henry Selick, in the same stop motion style as The Nightmare Before Christmas and James And The Giant Peach.
The animation is fantastic. The whole thing looks pretty damned gorgeous, and probably looks amazing in 3D assuming they went for depth rather that “booga booga, something’s coming at your face”. Just in 2D it still looks brilliant. I’ve no idea how they achieved the fog effect for one scene with stop motion but its probably just thin cotton wool or something and I’m being impressed by nothing.
The voice cast doing a good job, with Dakota “haven’t seen her in anything I haven’t liked her in yet” Fanning as the title character, French and Saunders pairing up for the weird actresses who live downstairs and appear to have some kind of witchy leanings, Ian McShane as the Russian guy upstairs who has a mouse circus (and some problems from Chernobyl judging by his behaviour) and Terri Hatcher as the Mother/Other Mother/Herself in the last half (only kidding Terri, loved you as Lois Lane).
Thematically it’s pretty similar to MirrorMask, another Gaiman story and very good film. Bit of a spoiler coming up so I’ll try and make it unreadable and you can highlight if you’ve seen the film:
The Other Mother/Beldam strikes me as being some kind of old god type figure, another theme that appears to be common in Gaiman’s work. Or what I’ve read anyway. She feeds off the lives of her victims and her powers seem to need someone to draw from. I’m guessing she’s a spider god of some kind going by how she works and the web towards the end. The cat being able to travel between the two worlds unmolested and exhibiting the strange powers we all know cat’s have but don’t want us to know they have is very NG to me too.
Spoilers done. While this is dark, I wouldn’t say it’s any darker than the likes of Labyrinth, Willow, The Dark Crystal, any of the stuff we watched as kids in the late 80’s. So if you think your kid can handle that they can handle this. Probably not for the young ones though. It’s not an amazing movie, but it is well worth a watch. And it sure is purdy.
That night she follows a kangaroo mouse (I think that’s what they’re called) and finds that the bricks are gone, replaced with a tunnel that leads to another version of her house. There she meets her ‘Other’ Mother and alternative versions of everyone from her house who have buttons for eyes. Everyone there has time for Coraline, and she can have anything she wants. Everything seems amazing and wonderful. Until it isn’t.
Obviously I don’t want to give the whole plot away. The film is based on a novel by Neil Gaiman so if you know his work you know what to expect, weird and wonderful. I haven’t read the original book but I do read his blog and know that there are some changes to plot and an additional character. And it’s animated by Henry Selick, in the same stop motion style as The Nightmare Before Christmas and James And The Giant Peach.
The animation is fantastic. The whole thing looks pretty damned gorgeous, and probably looks amazing in 3D assuming they went for depth rather that “booga booga, something’s coming at your face”. Just in 2D it still looks brilliant. I’ve no idea how they achieved the fog effect for one scene with stop motion but its probably just thin cotton wool or something and I’m being impressed by nothing.
The voice cast doing a good job, with Dakota “haven’t seen her in anything I haven’t liked her in yet” Fanning as the title character, French and Saunders pairing up for the weird actresses who live downstairs and appear to have some kind of witchy leanings, Ian McShane as the Russian guy upstairs who has a mouse circus (and some problems from Chernobyl judging by his behaviour) and Terri Hatcher as the Mother/Other Mother/Herself in the last half (only kidding Terri, loved you as Lois Lane).
Thematically it’s pretty similar to MirrorMask, another Gaiman story and very good film. Bit of a spoiler coming up so I’ll try and make it unreadable and you can highlight if you’ve seen the film:
The Other Mother/Beldam strikes me as being some kind of old god type figure, another theme that appears to be common in Gaiman’s work. Or what I’ve read anyway. She feeds off the lives of her victims and her powers seem to need someone to draw from. I’m guessing she’s a spider god of some kind going by how she works and the web towards the end. The cat being able to travel between the two worlds unmolested and exhibiting the strange powers we all know cat’s have but don’t want us to know they have is very NG to me too.
Spoilers done. While this is dark, I wouldn’t say it’s any darker than the likes of Labyrinth, Willow, The Dark Crystal, any of the stuff we watched as kids in the late 80’s. So if you think your kid can handle that they can handle this. Probably not for the young ones though. It’s not an amazing movie, but it is well worth a watch. And it sure is purdy.
The Obligatory 2009 Lists!
Well, 2009 started with Mama Mia and ended with The Hurt Locker. One of those appears on this list, the other didn't quite make it but I enjoyed them both. I watched just over 90 new films, to my knowledge, this year and as you can see from the list I mean as ever new to me. Feel free to be shocked that I hadn't seen Jaws and Rambo: First Blood until this year. The fact is I MIGHT have seen Jaws before, but if I did it was ages ago. And the list of shit I should have seen by now but haven't is longer than John Holmes' wang.
I would comment on each movie but decided against it as I have enough reviewing in my future! But I'll address any comments. I don't think there's anything all that controversial here though. So without further ado, here's the top 25 and bottom 6 of my 2009. Everything else fell in the middle, but it was FAR from a bad year for me (movie wise anyway, other stuff is a different matter but that didn't suck too hard either). Here's hoping 2010 is just as good!
The Great:
Pineapple Express
Milk
Waltz With Bashir
Slumdog Millionaire
Frost/Nixon
Religulous
Up
Julie & Julia
The Hurt Locker
The Incredible Hulk
Tropic Thunder
Black Sheep
Black Snake Moan
Kung Fu Panda
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
In Bruges
Speed Racer
Jaws
First Blood
Godfather Part 2
JCVD
Crank
The Young Victoria
Brothers
500 Days of Summer
Shite:
Anaconda 3
Anaconda 4
Repo: The Genetic Opera
Disaster Movie
Fly Me To The Moon
The Strangers
Next up, the first review (should be Coraline)
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