Movie 117: Outlander

A space ship crashes in Norway, around 900 AD. There is one human survivor, but he has some company. A deadly alien called a Moorven. The Moorven slaughters a village and nearly starts a war, but out hero is blamed. Until the Moorven attacks again. Well, until he kills a bear and everyone suddenly likes him, THE the Moorven attacks.

For a film about an alien-kinda-but-he’s-actually-human-but-from-space fighting alongside Vikings to kill a big dragon beasty this takes itself pretty seriously. Which is the main problem, as it’s a load of old toot.

Btw if you have seen this you might have missed the “abandoned seed colony” bit at the start. This explains why Kainan the alien looks like a person. See, we’re from space too! Sorted. But they don’t go much further than that. I’m fine with that to be honest.

If this had gone whackier I would have liked it a hell of a lot more, but its too straight faced. The Moorven, while an interesting design and idea, is pretty damned hard to decipher. When its glowing like a bunch of fairy lights I had trouble telling what was tail and what was tongue. The effects just weren’t up for what they were trying.

There is some kind of light hearted moments, but they weren’t all that good either. And the comic relief, Boromir of all names, had a very mobile accent. Sometimes he was a bit Scottish, then he’d be Irish, then English. Bit piss poor that.

I did think it was a nice touch that the “alien” language he was speaking at the start was Norse, then he and everyone else speaks English for the rest of the movie. Somehow the little kid is the only person bar our alien who has an American accent, which was lazy as hell.

Ron Pearlman is in this. He isn’t in it enough. Man did they waste that guy, he’s in about 10 minutes of actual movie. And his accent is pretty fucking good! Didn’t expect that, but Ron is actually a rather good actor. I think his look is the main reason for being cast in a lot of films but if he looked more conventional he’d be all over the damned place.

What we have here is a wasted opportunity for a fun B movie. The Viking village looks good, but the special effects are terrible. As is some of the acting and that one important supporting characters accent. The creature effects don’t really work. The plot is REDICULOUSLY predictable.

I wouldn’t bother watching it if I was you, but the buzz seems to be that its pretty enjoyable. You’ve been warned if you think its arse afterwards.

Next up: Real Genius

Further Reading: http://iheartthetalkies.wordpress.com/ reviews the latest releases. And I don’t, well maybe occasionally. So go read her blog.